And now for something completely different . . .

Two short stories:

I heard my cat scrambling a while back through the apartment, and I thought, "what the hell?!?"  She was chasing a mouse, which I thought was impossible to get in a second story apartment.  I was certainly wrong on that count.  Well, my declawed cat finally caught it, and brought it to me in her mouth. It was still alive, and I didn't want to kill it by dumping it in the toilet that was close by.  I decided to set it free outside.  So, I'm carrying the car to the balcony while she carries the squeaking mouse in her mouth.  It's 7am, I'm on my balcony in my nightgown, and I'm shaking the cat, shouting "RELEASE!! RELEASE!!"  She finally does, right onto my bare foot!  The mouse scampers off right back into the apartment, and I scream bloody murder!  I was so grossed out, I went in and immediately washed my foot.  The mouse currently resides inside my dryer vent in the kitchen, and the cat stands vigil most days.  I don't want to think about what happens when it comes out again.

I was attempting to pump gas at Shell a few weeks ago, and the pump wouldn't work.  I'd already swiped my card, and the pump locked up, so the last thing I wanted to do was move my car ahead to another pump and try again.  So I proceeded to the store to have the pump unlocked.  I managed to trip over the curb, and as I was wearing Birkenstocks, I ripped a large chunk out of my big toe.  I went in the store, and the cashier was extremely busy.  She sees my foot and starts to freak out.  I told her, "just give me some paper towels, and unlock my pump, so I can go.  I'm 2 minutes from home."  She spends the next five minutes trying to deal with my pump while I get pissed off that she won't UNLOCK MY PUMP.  Finally, I take a wad of paper towels and stuff them in my shoe so she can't see it bleeding anymore, and guide her outside.  She unlocks my pump, 20 minutes after my first request.  Sheesh.  Oh, and my foot's fine now.

Wistful

Every once in a while I feel a pang because I see 21 come up on my news feed for Facebook.  I stopped subscribing to his status updates, I no longer text him, and I don't stalk him on there anymore.  But still, I see a glimpse on there, and I get a little wistful.  He's joined the National Guard, concentrating with the Marines, and I think the discipline is just what he needs.  I think being single, makes me think we could get back together sometime, but I know the reality is never.  I sent him a text on Christmas wishing him the very best and a Merry Christmas.  I didn't expect a response, and I didn't get one.

The way things ended with us kind of left things open to that.  I showed up at his house because we were supposed to go see Rocky Horror, and he acted surprised that I was there.  As of the previous night, we were still going, and we had even made dinner plans.  He told me his paycheck was delayed and he ran out of minutes again, and he just assumed I was going to go with someone else.

We argued about it, and I asked him if I had a title, and what we were doing.  He told me that he had a lot going on right now, and it just wasn't the right time for us.  It went on some more in this vein, and he had to go in and cook his mom her anniversary dinner.  He told me to call him the next day at a specific time.  I tried to do that, and got his voicemail repeatedly.  I finally got through via text, several hours later, and we talked for a bit.  He repeated that it just wasn't the right time for us.  That's the last I've heard from him.

I don't regret the relationship, or the ending.  He's not the one, and I see that.  But like I said, every once in a while, I see his name on my news feed, and I feel a pang of regret for pushing things.  I suppose if I were truly done, I'd defriend him, but I don't think I can yet.

**I meant to post this a month ago, but just now getting to it.  Don't worry, I'm fine.**

Update on all the boys boys boys

1.  The musician:  After not hearing from him for days, and having our plans on Monday fall through, I thought we were done.  I texted him today, "give it to me straight- should I stop trying with you?"  He responded no and that he has been really busy with the holidays.  He's been working 36 hour shifts, coming home and crashing for 12 hours, then working another 36 hours.  He actually crashed in the middle of our conversation today.  I told him I did want to spend time with him, but I can wait until he lets me know a time that's convenient for him.  We'll see if that progresses at all.

2.  Nola:  We went out for drinks last night after a cancellation on each of our parts.  I had a couple and decided to confront him whether we were hanging out as friends or dating.  He said he answers my question with a question mark.  He was being deliberately obtuse, and really enjoyed seeing my confusion.  He loves to tease me and really grins when I am most annoyed.  At least now, he knows my interest in him and I asked him point blank if he wanted to date me.  He said he already answered that question (with a QUESTION MARK!!).  I then asked him if he wanted to see me again, and he said yes.  He also offered to let me come over and sober up at his house, but I declined.  He walked me back to my car when I did sober up, and I said something to the effect that if he had bought me a few more shots he might have been able to take advantage.  He said he doubted it would take any at all, and when I agreed, he told me not to tempt him.  So, I'm still confused as to what we're doing, but we'll continue to see each other, and maybe I'll take him up on the offer of his house next time.

3.  BH:  Again, see previous post.

4.  Navy:  Asked him to come to the Kilt a couple of times, and haven't gotten him to go.  We've texted a bit, but I think he's avoiding me after messing around last time.  He's confused by his feelings and doesn't want me influencing his decision.

5.  M:  Disappeared offline for awhile, and I figured that was that.  He reappeared today on Facebook, so I expect him to contact me any time now.

6.  DR:  Out of town visiting family.  I'm going to put together another group thing after the first of the year, and he'll be invited.  Plus, he's promised to invite me to his housewarming party.

7.  J:  Wished him a Merry Christmas and will probably call him to see how he's been after the new year.  I'd like to think we're still friends, and I hate to lose touch.

8.  A:  We had a conversation the other day, and while I didn't confront him on his behavior, I think we're on the same page now, and will just be friends.  He acknowledged the attraction between us, but said he wasn't going to act on it.  I'm fine with that, I just wanted the awkwardness to go away and I hope that he'll stop with the jealous behavior.  I'm still open to something in the future, but I'll let him decide that, and he has his own issues to work through first.

I did discover, after much thought today, that I have placed myself in a similar situation to A.  I'm surrounded by boys just like he's surrounded by women.  So, with that thought, today begins my weed out.  BH, J, and A are all done- we'll be friends, but no expectations of more.  I'll see how it goes with the musician, but I only have so much patience.  Nola I will continue to push to see how he really feels, and he may or may not come off this list.  Navy may continue to avoid me or it may turn around.  M is a distinct possibility as he REALLY likes me, but as I haven't met him in person, he could be insane or trying for a green card.  Being very cautious there.  And finally, I really wish DR would date me.  He's so cute and sweet, and basically awesome in every way.  I know we would have some good times, and I could see it developing long term.

So I guess this list is actually at two, and not eight.  Who knows what the future holds?

What does this mean now? (Answer below)

Me: Happy Tuesday! How was your christmas?
BH: Family friends food, folly and a few gifts
Me: Folly? Nice alliteration though
BH: It was an f word
Me: Lol. I got that. I thought you got into some mischief this weekend
BH:Well......... yeah
But I need a few days and weeks to sort it out before I can tell ya
Me:Well that's quite mysterious of you. Way to tease me cause you know I want to know
BH: I wanna know too, but I need to figure some things out first
Me: Lol. Ok that's fair. You tell me when you're ready and I'll keep bugging you in the meantime
BH: Sounds like a plan
Me: Do you have next Monday off?
BH: Noop
Me: Well bummer. I do and I'll be in michigan so I was thinking about stopping by
BH: I'm home at night, so we can see. You might be able to drive then! Probably none of that other stuff that we tried though.
Me: Lol that was kinda what I was hinting about with coming over. I understand if you're not interested any more
BH: Like I said, it just felt like it was being pushed or forced too hard. Just didn't feel right, and kinda awkward
Me: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't get that at all. I guess I was the pushy one. I didn't mean to come across that way
BH: Haha I was pushy! Well we both were
Me: I didn't think you were pushy at all. You were just doing what I wanted
BH: I meant, well I dunno... trying to force a square peg in a round hole? Nah that's a bad analogy also
Me: Lol. I guess we could have slowed down and just made out or something but I wanted more
BH: Well I did too, or I thought I did
Me: Hmmm. I think you're second guessing yourself now and you forget that the weekend was just about us having a good time. I certainly did. Didn't you?
BH: Yes I did.
Me: Ok well then awkward or pushy or whatever seemed to work. Don't worry so much about it or about me. Besides, I'm game to try again, you just let me know. You work out what you need to work out. I'm always here to talk or whatever

Update:
Well, I guess I have my answer now.  We talked some more yesterday, which follows.

Me:I've been doing a lot of thinking today too and in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you that I like you a lot and I'm interested in pursuing whatever with you even if you are only interested in FWB or just being friends. I think we've got a comfortable thing going on and I don't want to push you.
BH:  Friends for sure, groping friends if the urge arises? Full on FWB I think I wanna avoid. Definitely have to be demoted if something else develops. Aka "folly"
Me:  Ok I understand. I guess you did have quite the interesting weekend. I'm glad we have all this out in the open minus your "folly"
BH:  :-D yeah that ones gonna take a while to sort out. Nuttin bad, just complicated
Me:  Does it have anything to do with the woman from your christmas party a few weeks ago?
BH:  Uh, yup
Me:  Well that is interesting.  I understand why it might take several weeks, etc, now to sort out. I told you if she was interested she would contact you.  Just out of curiosity- if I still lived in michigan, would you have attempted to pursue anything with me?
BH:  Its a distinct possibility. The no kids thing was a hit
Me:  I've had several years to think about that and it's not something I'm changing my mind on.  I wish you the best of luck.

Basically, he met this woman at his company Christmas party a few weeks ago and gave her his number on a dare.  She's in the middle of a divorce and he didn't want to be the rebound, but he was interested.  She contacted him this past weekend and they hung out, so he wants to see where things go with her.  He still wants to talk to me, but there won't be a repeat of a couple of weeks ago.  It's a shame I don't live in Michigan anymore, but I'm not moving back just for him.  I'm a little disappointed that our flirtation has ended, but it's probably better for me in the long run.  We'll see what happens, and I was sincere in wishing him the best of luck.

Happy holidays . . . I guess

I'm a little sad tonight because my plans with all my boys fell through. Every single one of them. I had the day off of work, and I told the musician that. He was intrigued and said he would let me know. I didn't feel well last night, so I waited to text him until I got up today. He told me he was spending the day with family and then going to bed because he has to work tomorrow. I totally understand this, but he didn't need to get my hopes up that we might spend the day together. I really miss him.

I finished up my Christmas shopping and headed to my friend's birthday party. I got a text from Nola asking me to have drinks with him. Of course I said yes, and went to the Pub where we agreed to meet later that night. He sends me a text about eleven that he had a flat tire and wasn't going to make it. Again, I understand, but still bummed.

I decided to head to the Kilt, and texted Navy to come up and hang out. He never responded, which is fine as he doesn't go out when he has to work the next morning and he probably does. I was really hoping he would respond so we could have some fun making out. :(

I did get to spend some time with A at the Kilt, though. We played several games of pool and hung out and talked for a bit. He seemed annoyed with me tonight and I can't figure out why. I didn't tell him about my fallen plans, and I wasn't flirting with anyone. I wish he would make up his mind, and I wish I wasn't such a chicken shit about confronting him.

Anyway, this all added up to me leaving the Kilt early and coming home grumpy. I need to get out of this funk. It's Christmas, for fuck's sake!

Boys, boys, boys buy me drinks in bars

I've been kind of vague and mentioned in passing some of the situations with guys I find myself in recently. I thought I'd take the time to lay it all out here, and realize that this may castigate me in some people's eyes. In no way is the list designed to make me look like a "playa" or be conceited in any way; it's just putting everything out there in black and white.

1. The musician: We've had some good times, but I feel like he's pulling away from me. We've only been dating a couple of weeks, but I did think he really liked me. I asked him point blank today if he still wanted to hang out with me, and he instantly responded with YES. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as he's an EMT/Firefighter and the holidays are the busiest time for him. Plus, he did text me spontaneously this weekend.

2. Nola: I hate that it seems like I keep him on reserve for dating, but our schedules are so busy that we don't have time to date more than once every couple of weeks. We have great conversations that last for hours, but he is so slow and deliberate, he hasn't made a single move after dating since October. We hug all the time, and he put his arm around me, but that's it. I feel kind of bad that he texted me to have drinks last night, and I didn't make it over there because I was drinking at the Kilt. To be fair, I did invite him to come my way.

3. BH: Good times had by all, see previous post.

4. Navy: He's so very lonely, and has told me he wants a long term relationship with me, that he can see leading to marriage. We talk all the time about the connection we share, but he is unwilling to act on it. He told me as long as he is in the military, he won't subject a woman to that because of all the infidelity that occurs. I told him since he plans on being a career military man, he's in for a lot of lonely years, and he's not giving me enough credit. We've hung out several times at the Kilt, and it used to be absolutely not, to now he's torn about it. I'm wearing him down, and we did have a bit of fun Thursday night.

5. M: Guy I've been chatting with online from Chemistry.com for a couple of weeks. He seems very sweet but shy, and I'm considering meeting him for the first time after the holidays. In a public place, of course.

6. DR: I've mentioned him before and he is so cute and nice and does like me, but he is so new to town, he doesn't want to commit to a relationship before gaining a circle of friends. Well, as long as I'm part of that circle, and he is aware of my interest, it's all good.

7. J: He always seems to be there in the background. See lots of previous posts from last year for that breakdown. Just when I think I'll never hear from him again (mostly because I've pissed him off), I receive a random text or call, like the one from last Friday asking how my Thanksgiving was and if I could help him with the number for the person in charge of benefits.

8. And finally, we have A: to add to the drama of the past few weeks, he got mad at me on Thursday. I was at the Kilt with Navy and we were sitting so close at a table when A came in. He saw us there and went straight to the bar and ordered a drink. He then proceeded to glare daggers at us for the next half hour until he decided to storm out. I felt bad for Brian as he was talking to us and had to go because A was his ride. Well, A and I are having dinner tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

FWB

I took a trip to Michigan this past weekend to see a couple of friends and go to my extended family Christmas. As a side benefit (?), I made plans to meet up with BH. Now, we've been chatting pretty much on a daily basis ever since July, and I've known him since high school. We decided to get together, no expectations, and just see where things led us. We discovered that we still have a strong connection, and things got pretty hot and heavy really quickly.

Without going into too much detail, let's just say, he has some performance issues and was a little too excited to see me. I'm not saying that was a bad thing, as I was still unsure how I felt about losing it to him. One thing was, in the middle of everything, I was thinking of another guy, so that kind of told me that I would be able to leave without having an emotional attachment to BH, which was reassuring.

I did have a nice time, and we talked for hours. It was just such a comfortable situation all around, no awkwardness, and it was wonderful snuggling with him. We fit together so well. It's a shame we're both so set where we're at, because we talked about if the distance was less, we would try dating for real. He's the only one that I communicate with on a regular basis and has never disappointed me.

He refuses to come see me in Cincinnati, and won't let me make trips to see him unless I'm in Michigan for another reason. I guess we're right back to where we were before- just keep chatting, and if the opportunity presents itself, we'll hook up again. Who knows? No expectations here.

Did the Cyclones win last night?

I went to the game last night and there was a cute guy sitting slightly back and to the right of me. It was dollar beer night so I got up several times to purchase beer, one at a time. The guy I noticed started winking and making faces at me as I passed, so after a couple of times I winked back. After going to the bathroom, I stopped at his seat and introduced myself. We chatted for a bit and he asked for my number, which I gave him. We texted for a bit and he asked me to come hang out at a bar with him and his friend. I tried to get my friends to go, but Stan had to work in the morning and refused. didn't drive there, so I didn't have a choice. The guy actually got mad, and told me to grow up and make my own decisions. I told him I do, but I'm not about to go off by myself with a stranger. That's just personal safety. I then told him AJ would kill one of us if I did and he called my brother "a lil bitch." At this point I was done flirting as he clearly was a jerk. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

On a different note, I'm frustrated with the guy I'm dating. He told me he doesn't make plans for hanging out (we don't call it dating as that freaks him out), and told me we'll see about going out tonight. So, all of the plans for dates that we've made and actually done were nothing? I gsave him a time ultimatum for tonight, and that'll be it from me. If he wants to do something with me, he can contact me. Time to move on to one of the other 8 guys.

You'd think I'd learn

As promised, the update about my trip to Keeneland this year:

I don't know what it is, but I seem to court drama every time I go to that place. I love going, but this is beginning to get ridiculous. Last year I had all the issues with D and J, that resulted in a huge mess, the end of one friendship, and a stage one clinger with J.

This year, Nola had mentioned that he might come down and hang out in Keeneland. I didn't expect it, but imagine my surprise when he actually showed! The problem came with one of my friends from work that came along. I seriously thought he was gay, and had made an offhand comment that morning, and he corrected my misconception immediately. I didn't think anything of it, and said no more. Nola shows up in time for lunch, and I can't shake my coworker. I realize he didn't know hardly anyone else there, but part of the fun of Give Back events is the networking and meeting new people. So I had a lovely lunch with both guys. *eye roll* He got so obnoxious about sticking by my side for the afternoon that Nola finally gave up trying to talk to me and hang out, and went to hang with some other people he knew. He ended up leaving early and I felt terrible because we couldn't spend any time together.

I guess I can't totally hate on the experience, as Nola and I still date occasionally (damn our busy schedules). It also brought me closer to Josh, my brother from another mother. I freakin' love that kid!

Awwwwwkward

Saturday night, I went to Mt. Adams with Brian and his girlfriend, and A as well. We were hanging out at AliveOne (which I liked very much, as it wasn't your typical Mt. Adams place), and I was having a deep conversation with A on a couch in the back. I got up to get another drink, and on the way back, a couple of guys stopped me to chat. We were joking around and flirting, you know, doing the regular bar talk, and they asked who I was here with. I pointed behind them at my friends (who had been joined by a couple of other people they knew at this point), and they all waved at me. Except A. He was glaring daggers at the gentlemen, so much so, that they asked if he was my boyfriend. I reassured them that I was single, but by then the fun mood was killed and I bid them goodbye. I'm sure if I had had 5 more minutes, and no jealous "friend" sitting there, I would have had one or both of their numbers.

I don't know what gives. He insists we're just friends but keeps perpetuating behavior like this. On the ride home, he had his arm around me the entire time. I'm almost to the point of confronting him, especially if this thing I have going with the other guy goes somewhere. In fact, A was the one dissenter to the relationship- kept telling me all the bad he knew about him and tried to warn me off. "He did drugs." So did you. "He's a horndog and wants sex." So are you, and most people do. "He hangs out at the Kilt all the time." So do you, so do I, and about 20 other people.

It's getting to the point that I won't be able to hang out with him anymore. He is not my boyfriend, he won't man up, and he does not get the right to act like a jealous boyfriend. Dammit. There goes the Three Musketeers. I feel bad for Brian because he's both of our friends and he would be forced to choose. Honestly, I don't think bros before hoes will apply here, as Brian's annoyed with A for his own set of reasons. I will keep you posted.

The Off Kilt'r Pub

For any of you that follow my feed on Facebook, you may have noticed a trend- I'm always going to the Kilt! I really love that place; it's like my Cheers. I first went with A to hang out with him as he never comes over my way (until this past Wednesday night), and I've gradually met a great group of people there. I love Mike and Landon, the owners, they always greet me by name and hug me when I leave. I've also met several guys there that I've felt instantly comfortable with- including the guy I'm currently dating. It helps my level of trust that he is a confirmed "doctor" of the Kilt'r Krew and I know the guys have my back. Plus, if he treats me badly, he has to answer to all of them. We'll see how this goes. He says he doesn't want a relationship and is a bad boyfriend, but so far he's treated me really well. I told him I'm not labeling him, and we're hanging out without expectations. I can tell he's been hurt before.

Anyway, got off the post topic a bit. I love having a place to go where you walk in and they shout your name. I love the resident old fart that hugs me when I come in and is the only one I allow to call me "Annie." I love the crazy marine that always has the best stories and you know he'd be the one sitting beside you in jail saying, "what a ride!" I love that DJ Rob is there every week, and plays my favorite songs.  I love knowing that any one of them in there have my back and would jump to my defense. In fact, they may love me just a little bit more than they love A. If things don't work out with this new guy, I have a feeling I will still be embraced, but he may be uncomfortable for awhile.

I think I may head over there tonight.

November Challenge

In case you didn't know, I challenged myself for the month of November to do no drinking at all. I drank waaaay too much in October and it was my chance to see if I could exhibit self control, save money, and lose weight. I must say, for at least two of the objectives I was successful. I did save a lot of money and was very controlled. As far as weight loss, eh, I didn't gain. Plus, November was an emotional roller coaster for me, so if there was ever a reason to drink, that was it. But really, it strengthened my resolve not to, as it would portent a problem.

So December 1st rolls around, and we head to the Kilt. Lot of alcohol consumed, and for the first time ever, I have periods of no memory. This was not a good idea, and I will not be repeating it. Pretty sure this means I've officially left my youth behind, as I will be drinking in light moderation from now on. I'm not going to miss it- I thoroughly embarrassed myself at the bar with puking into a bucket at the ACTUAL bar. Needless to say, I was hustled out very quickly after.

The only saving grace from the night going down in infamy at the Kilt is the fact that another regular jumped off his roof drunk and broke his leg in four places the same night. Yeah, so glad that's not me.

HA!

Gah! life is happening faster than I can write about it! Updates coming, I promise!

Someone needs a nickname!

I received an email from an associate a couple of weeks ago asking if he could come talk to me about the YP group. I said sure, and didn't think anything more about it until a few days later when my work phone rang (which it never does) and he was in the lobby asking me to let him in. I'm sure glad I did, because he is CUTE!! We ended up talking about the group and things in general for over an hour. I found out he is new to the city, and I could empathize. I give him a YP shirt, and he goes on his merry way. Meanwhile, I'm kicking myself for not inviting him to something.

I get an email about a half hour from his personal email, and it says how awesome it was to talk to me, and gives me his phone number to call if I want to hang out. I just so happened to have a dinner and a movie with friends planned that night, so I invited him along and gave him my number in exchange. I didn't hear back from him via email, but about an hour later, I receive a text saying he had purchased his ticket and that he would see me at the restaurant that night.

It was a great night with friends- just the perfect mix of people, and everyone said we need to make it a regular thing. DR had such a great time, and we talked up ultimate frisbee to the point he agreed to come play. He said he's never played before, but he was a natural! I admit, I was showing off a bit for him, and it is to my advantage to be one of the few girls on the field.

We've talked a bunch since then, both via text and work IM. I finally worked up a nerve to ask him out, and texted him that I had a question, but no pressure. He sent me the nicest response back:

"I wouldn't mind that eventually but would like to hang out again as a group before I start looking at dating anyone. I am looking to make friendships first and then look at dating. I am flattered that after meeting/hanging out for a weekend you asked me out. I know that takes a lot of courage and I am sorry but gonna have to pass for right now."

It's a very sweet way to tell me he's not interested. I figured since he's new to town, I would get the jump on other girls and see if he was of like mind. At least this way, we can continue to hang out, and he is aware of my interest, should he choose to act on it. We're going to dinner and bowling as a group this Friday, so it should be another blast!

Boomerang

Two stories of guys that don't go away:

J texted me last week: "Yo, pictures of boobs . . . stat" I declined, and he got mad. Kept insisting that I send him video or pictures immediately. I will admit, I have sent a couple in the past, in the middle of the mess we were going through. Now, there's no point, as he no longer lives in the city, and never committed to me. I kept saying no, and he threatens me, "you would hate for some incriminating emails to make their way to high level Kroger executives." I told him that threatening me will get him nowhere, and he is oblivious to the fact he has sent less than appropriate IMs over Kroger networks, and I have saved them all. I'm hoping it was an empty, drunken threat, and that was the end of it. I also told him that I thought we were friends, but the only time I hear from him is when he's drunk or horny or both.

The next night, he texts me to apologize, and how he was so drunk on Four Lokos in celebration of them being banned. I am not letting down my guard, he has burned me too much in the past.

BH texted me today as well, ironically, at the exact time I was talking about him to a friend. He was wondering what happened to me and wanted me to know that he missed talking to me, and BTW when was I coming to Michigan? He asked if it was something he did to make me stop talking to him, and wanted to pick up right where we left off. I have been talking to him all day, and he asked if he could finish the conversation tomorrow. He's always been super nice to me, and we are very compatible, but we're both set in our ways on the distance. I haven't decided if I'm going to go see him when I travel to Michigan in two weeks. He has made a very nice offer to fix my external hard drive and share some entertainment. I guess I'll have to see when everything else is going on, and try to fit him in- although he did ask for an entire day.

Confused . . .

I have a situation going on with a friend- I don't know how I feel, and I don't know how he feels, but let me explain Friday.

Thursday night, a few people went over to the Kilt for a late Thanksgiving dinner (Ugh, so stuffed!), and A was supposed to meet me there. The other people with me were bored with the bar, and wanted to go to a different one downtown. So we left, and A missed me by less than 5 minutes. He begins texting me right away (yes, I texted and drove, and I am ashamed), wondering why I didn't stay. We basically chatted for several hours while he was there, and I was at a bar downtown. He then invites me to lunch the next day.

So, I go to lunch with him, and it's really nice. I leave, and do some shopping with Todd. He texts me later and invites me to dinner. I tell him I have Todd with me, and he tells me to bring him along, there's a whole group. We have a nice dinner, and keep exchanging glances and faces, and he tells me that I'm pretty much one of his favorite people.

Todd and I leave, and A starts texting me again. He tells me to drop Todd off and come hang out again. So I do, expecting a whole group and we'll go out on the town. I get there, and it's just me and him, and he wants me to help him pick out a new tv so we can watch a movie (Black Friday deals). I do so, and we drive back to his house where he sets it up in his bedroom and invites me to lay down on his bed to watch it.

He then proceeds to strip off all his clothes except his boxers, and climbed into bed next to me (I'm still fully clothed). It was chilly because his ceiling fan was running, so we're under the covers together. He occasionally touched my arm or my leg all night, but nothing else. I left after the movie was done, but that was still 3am.

The confusion comes into play because he has a bunch of girls always hanging around him that he calls his harem or his mistresses but insists that I'm different. Then he treats me like a good buddy and asks me to introduce him to my single female friends. This is the same guy at Labor Day that said he was maybe interested in something with me after we flirted for days.

He told me today that he was going to ax all the girls in his life but wanted to make sure that I knew I wasn't included in that and he doesn't consider me one of the "mistresses." So what does that mean? We're good buds, or he's looking for something more? It would not be difficult for me to have stronger feelings for him, as he's already one of my favorite boys and we hang out all the time. He's a nice guy that tries to act like an asshole, but I see right through the act and call him on it. I'm probably the only girl he doesn't play games with.

I don't know. I guess I'll just stay the course until he makes up his mind. Don't think in the meantime that I'm waiting around!

A teaser

I promise to fill up this blog this weekend with a real post of all the happenings in my life, but in the meantime:

-Update on the Keeneland trip to come! As well as a story about my foot and another about a mouse in my apartment.

-More idiocy with J, on his part, of course.

-Have gotten to the point where I can look at 21 objectively, and I wish him the best.

-Still going out with NOLA occasionally, and he came to dinner with several of my friends last Friday.

-New cutie at work that I may ask out- have to see after the holiday.

-My November challenge has been fairly successful, but I sure picked the wrong month to stop drinking!

For Fuck's Sake

Wow. After all the crap you put me through, YOU dump ME?? How does this happen? Way to go a-hole, it's not my fault you don't have time for me.

:-(

Do you really think that I don't notice when you update your facebook four times a day and don't respond to my texts? Thanks for making me sad once again.

Plus, I'm really afraid that you're just staying with me until the concert so you can go and not feel guilty. So thanks for that too.

NEW

I received an invite to NEW: the Network of Executive Women.  It's strange.  I don't feel an affinity to this group or to women in general.  It's not my demographic - yes, I am a woman, but I am an individual and my goals are not to further women's rights, so to speak.

I am more interested in furthering gay rights, or helping young professionals, and trying to become a better person.  As far as I'm concerned, women are pretty well set.  It has been stressed so much in the last 90 years that it is time to further a new demographic.  It has become such a non-issue that for my generation, there has never been any doubt that women would do as well, if not better, than men.  For that, I thank the generations for the battle they fought.  This post is not meant to minimize their efforts, without which my openness would not be possible.

As I look around the room, there is a visible age line - the majority of the women are forty plus.  There is a single table of girls that are early twenties.  They were put all at the same table and are the college outreach division.  *rolls eyes* Good job, NEW, you have eight potential members.

The conversation right now from the speaker is about building relationships with other women.  I'm a little disgusted because apparently, relationships with men as a support system are for naught.  Also, we clap after almost every statement.  Ie- "Making IT Happen is about building relationships." *clap clap clap*  How is everything said that impactful?  It's not.  I have to figure out a way to politely decline this next time.  It's not for me, but I do hope to keep the lanyard.

Update:
There was a basket as you came down the stairs to deposit the lanyard into, but I just zipped up my coat over mine and walked out the door.  Success!

Having trouble with motivation all around

My choice tonight was to write in this blog or upload the hundreds of pictures from my camera that people have been asking to see.  Guess which won?

*rolls eyes*

God, so much drama this weekend.  And from three boys, not two.  I don't even know where to begin, but it's all put me in limbo, and I've adopted a zen attitude to deal with it so I don't scream in frustration.  Maybe I'll explain tomorrow.

Another one bites the dust

Well, I guess I have my answer.  I know that 21's phone had run out of minutes so he couldn't contact me, but I figured once he purchased more, I would hear from him.  He got the minutes, and I know this because of a little Facebook stalking.  Yes, again.  He posted a couple of hours ago from his phone and another 15 minutes ago posted "ha ha sweet lady kisses," which is obviously not about me.  I guess he decided he was no longer interested in me, and became another in a long line of "never call agains."  Because we all know how much I LOVE that.  I am hurt, but I'm trying to compartmentalize and move on.

On a brighter note, I texted Nola, and instead of bailing early on my friends, we're going to go out Monday.  I'm supposed to call him Sunday so we can decide where and when.  It still is a little strange, and I can't wait to pick his brain about why he waited so long.

I do have Keeneland tomorrow, which will be fun, and a great concert afterwards.  Nola was debating driving down separately from the buses so we could hang out for the day (he would have to leave earlier than the buses for a previous commitment.).  We'll see what happens, and what kind of trouble I can get into with all the included alcohol.

"I got your back jack. Bitches be crazy!"

So after all the planning and talking, I was stood up today for my date with 21.  I ended up waiting at the mall for over an hour, unable to get a hold of him via call or text.  I'm so incredibly pissed off and am seriously considering not pursuing this.  At this point, I still have stronger feelings for him than Nola, but they're quickly turning sour.

As far as that goes, I'll see if he doesn't mind getting together around 9:30pm on Sunday.  I have the potluck dinner with friends, but they'll understand, I'm sure, if I duck out early.  I was considering seeing what he's doing tomorrow night, but I have a planned night in (much needed and deserved) and Keeneland the next morning.

I was nervous about the overlap here, and having to choose, but it appears life has chosen for me.  We'll see what happens.

Is this the third thing? Because . . . DAYUM!

I received this text today from one of the guys I hung out with in NOLA. It was a follow up to a note I got on Facebook, basically inviting me to have drinks sometime. The text was an invite for tonight, so I figured, what the hell, I'll go. I had no expectations. and really had no idea who all would be there. Well, apparently this was a date.

After kickball, my team hung out for awhile at MLT's, and I did some karaoke. It was fun, and I have some great pictures I'll post on Facebook later. The invite was to go to Habits in Oakley, so I made my way over there. I was the only one besides him and it quickly became apparent that he had asked me out and not as a friend. We talked for awhile, and it was nice. I don't remember how it came up, but he discovered that I absolutely hate the name "Annie." So he proceeds to call me this, and threaten to use it in the future. Of course, I become annoyed, and we talk about how I want to punch him, but violence doesn't solve anything and it wouldn't make him stop anyway.

We continued the banter in this vein until we were ready to go. He walked me to my car with his arm around me the whole time. I gave him a hug goodbye. To be honest, I thought he was cute while we were in New Orleans. By the time I got home, he had texted me that he had a good time and would I be free to go out on Sunday? I do have plans, but I told him we may be able to meet up later that night. I'm willing to see where this goes, and we did have a blast in NOLA- he took very good care of me.

Why does this have to happen now? Why didn't he say something while we in New Orleans? It's been over 2 months! Geez louise, this is my kind of luck!

Tonight was just so strange that it completely distracted me from posting about the mouse or my foot. Maybe tomorrow, or more strangeness will occur.

Curveball

I talked to 21 on Friday. He had visited his dad the previous night, and said it was both a good and bad visit. Immediately, I was wary. He tells me that it was nice seeing him, but that his dad found him a job, and oh, by the way, it starts tonight. While this doesn't seem like a big deal, here's a few facts about the situation.

He's going to live with his dad in Lawrenceburg, IN, which is 45 minutes away.
The job is 3rd shift in a factory.
He will still be going to school in the mornings.
He does not have a license, so I will have to do all the driving to see him.
He does not have weekends off, so actual face time is going to be difficult.

And the kicker: he really likes me, he thinks I'm cute, he wants to pursue every avenue possible with me, and he wants to see this go long term. How can I say no to that?

We're going to keep dating, and see where this goes. Honestly, it could be a blessing in disguise, as the distance forces me to calm my libido down, and we'll spend more time on the phone getting to know each other. So far, communication doesn't seem to be a problem. He even responded to a text this afternoon in the middle of family dinner, and promised to call me later.

I feel bad about it, but I'm going to bail on my friends on Thursday (we were going to do karaoke), so that I can go over there and we can hash out a schedule in person. I hate to be that regimented, but considering how busy we both are, this is probably the best solution.

Still waiting for the third thing . . .

Update:

We're meeting in Kenwood when I get out of work on Thursday and I'll be meeting some of his friends. Getting nervous now.

I am also an idiot.

He sent me a text today-his phone broke and he just got it fixed today. We had a good conversation and we're going out tomorrow night. I'm excited and nervous all over again, as we're going to tour the Dent Haunted Schoolhouse with a bunch of my good friends. Even more so than the gays, these people matter to me. I don't want them to scare him off, and in return, I want them to like him. I hope he doesn't get the impression I'm trying to move too fast, as he keeps meeting my friends. It just so happens that I am that busy, and fitting him into my life means doing things like this. Plus, I hope he understands that I can't bail on prearranged plans, lol, especially after not hearing from him for several days.

I can see this going somewhere, I just hope he does too.

I am a terrible person.

I spent all my energy trying not to "like" like 21, and now I've gone and done it. He was just so nice and genuine that he broke through all of my defenses. The problem is, I haven't heard from him in three days. Which is understandable, considering the tragedy he's gone through. But, I am selfish and want to hear from him. Every. Single. Day. I sent him a quick text on Monday afternoon, asking how he was doing that day. I also called Monday night and got his voicemail, but didn't leave a message. I have refrained since then because I don't want to come off as needy or clingy. (but would it hurt him to send a quick text along the lines of "need more time?")

I'm really hoping I hear from him soon. I thought we had a good time, and he wanted to see me again, so my brain goes to "what did I do wrong?" Did I not share my feelings? When he asked me what I was thinking and I replied, "nothing," was he dissatisfied with my answer? Is he bothered by the age difference? Has he lost interest, and this is another case of 'never call again' that I always seem to attract?

The bottom line is, everyone grieves at their own pace, and it may take him a week or more. I am a terrible person for wanting to speed this up and have him pay attention to me. The last thing he needs is to work on a new relationship when his head is elsewhere. If he calls me again, great, if not, we had fun for a bit, and I should move on.

I'll give him a call next week.

The Weekend

So, I had a weekend of ups and downs. Here's the lowdown: Friday night was wonderful. 21 had a good time at the housewarming party and said he like the gays. He was able to hold his own in the conversations and didn't stay at my side the whole night; he actually mingled. In return, the gays gave their seal of approval and told me not to mess it up. We had a wonderful (albeit too short) car ride home, and he sweetly kissed me goodnight, and made plans to hang out on Sunday.

Saturday had its moments. Ultimate was awesome, and I climbed a tree for the hell of it. I scraped my leg, but I don't regret it. Then I got a random text from Ondreas, and we met for lunch and had a blast. I ended up staying later than intended, and headed out late to Christian's party. Apparently, I missed the gun shooting and ATV/beer riding. Oh darn. The theme was Oktoberfest, so there was a lot of pork in the meal, and I had to pick and choose. If it wasn't a brat, it had bacon in it. Very difficult to find anything I could eat. I had some noodles, green beans, and a couple of tastes of desserts. I didn't stay very long, as I wasn't having fun.

I didn't realize until I started having an allergic reaction on the road driving home, that one of the desserts was made with wine or cordial. I was having trouble breathing, I got very flushed, and an extreme headache that was hindering my vision. I pulled over into a gas station and passed out. I believe I was only out for about 5 minutes, but I still waited an additional half hour to drive again. It was the most severe reaction I've ever had, and it was scary considering I was all alone, and driving a car. I hate to be that person, but I guess I have to ask from now on for every ingredient in a dish.

I still ended up heading to my NOLA reunion, but I only stayed for a couple of hours. I got to see a bunch of people that I've missed and had some good laughs. I still didn't completely feel well, so I went home. Apparently a big group barhopped after, which I would have loved, but it was not to be.

Sunday, I was so looking forward to, as 21 was very clear in asking when he could see me again, and it would have been fun to see him in a comfortable environment, watching the games. I got a text early asking how I was doing, and he proceeded to tell me that his friend had committed suicide that morning. I've been through it, so I told him that and asked if there was anything I could do for him. He said he needed the day and some understanding and that he was going to spend the day with the family. I told him to take all the time he needed, and to give me a call when he was ready. My heart goes out to him and the family as it's very tragic to lose someone, especially that young. I still have a pang when I think of my friend John from high school and how no one even knew until it was too late.

I really hope I hear from him again, and that he feels comfortable enough to talk to me about it.

30/2=15 15+7=22

Comments on the age difference:

Warmin, Drew
-let me ask you, when you see a rated R movie with 21, do you have to buy his ticket?
-I hope Kris' party ends early. Chuckie Cheese closes at 9
-When he picks you up to dinner do you have to sit on the handlebar of his bike?
Witgen, Ann E
ok, funny story
i'm picking him up tomorrow
Warmin, Drew
-as well you should, the driver's license age is older in ohio than the rest of the country
-Does he earn a Boy Scout merit badge for capturing a puma?
Witgen, Ann E
plus, i can only imagine the crap he's getting from his friends about me
Warmin, Drew
-haha - true. They must be having a blast ragging on him under their mattress forts at their sleepovers
-of course 21 could tell you that too..... on his Buzz Lightyear watch-with real lazer sounds and everything
-so are you planning on taking him trick or treating this year? Remember to go through his candy before he eats any
-I hear the Wiggles are in town this weekend, you should do that

Fleury, Allen E
-what time is his curfew?
Witgen, Ann E
dunno, whenever his mom says he has to be home
Fleury, Allen E
-so do you have to pay for dinner, or is his allowance enough to cover it?
-Will you put a night light in your room for when he comes for a sleepover?
-does he only hold your hand when you're crossing the street?

The restraining order says 500 feet

So I went a little Facebook stalker-y earlier, and found 21's profile. He really should learn how to change his privacy settings. But I digress. I looked through his pictures, as he's really cute, and I only have the one, which is a bad one of the both of us. Then, I notice his status update: "Ok, so now I'm into older girls . . ."

This seriously made me smile, as it's totally about me!

Someone please stop me!

Also, a weird thing happened to me today. I pulled up alongside Yacob, the cab driver I dated last year and the one that I reference earlier about dating me 3 times and not calling because I wouldn't put out. I'm not sure if the universe is trying to tell me something, and if so, what?

Smooth

My date with 21 went really well. He made me dinner at his house, and he is such a fantastic cook! He is going to culinary school, and taught me a few things about smoke point and such. I'm not sure exactly what was on the chicken for seasoning, but it was to die for! I had a couple of people yell at me for acting unsafe on a first date, but I counter with:

1. his mom was there
2. my brother knew where I was going and had the address
3. we have close mutual friends
4. another friend lived two streets over

He definitely says and does all the right things. I had this happen before, and because I wouldn't put out, I didn't get called again after three dates. I'm hoping this is different, but I still remain cautious. We spent hours just talking about everything under the sun.

He cooks, he sings, he's well spoken and well read, AND he loves pop culture. Here I go again!

We texted a bit yesterday, and I was supposed to call him a little after nine, but I didn't get home until 11. We're going out on Friday, but Kris and Andrew are having their housewarming party that night, and it's kind of important I go, as we're so close. I would like to take 21, but I don't want to put any pressure on him. Although, I have already met his brother, his mom, and a couple of friends. It can't hurt to ask, and if he doesn't want to go, I have several suggestions for us to do instead. Kris will forgive me, eventually. lol

I will keep you posted . . .

Update: he's coming with me to the party; says he's looking forward to it. We'll see, and I've told my friends to behave.

Still pensive, but Sad Panda no more

So, a few things are settled, and some are still up in the air, but I'm not nearly as stressed.

I've decided to devote myself more to Give Back Cincinnati. I sat down Friday and hashed out a plan with the chair of the YPs for transitioning to new leadership so that I can roll off at the beginning of the year. I will still stay on as advisor, but will have much less of a hands on position.

I still haven't found a roommate. I would really like one to be able to save money, but if I limit my events to one a month that costs a bit more, and spend more time at the cheap/free ones, I can make it on my own by watching my spending like a hawk. I'll continue to look, but it'll be ok. I'm going to go to the bank to see if I can consolidate my loans into one, which would lower my monthly payment.

I'm still not sure about my job, but I'm going to buckle down and really commit. It's not that I don't get it, it's just that I'm bombarded from all sides. I need to apply focus and do one item at a time until I can cross it off the list. The jumping around I keep doing is not helping my productivity.

I still have feelings for my friend, but since I don't know where he stands, I'm going to go on my date tonight and enjoy myself. Who knows where that will go, as he's 21, but I'll have a good time for sure. I'm not opposed to the age difference- 9 years is nothing, it's just that he may be in a different place than I am. Which is ok, if we're not going to go long term. When we met on Saturday, it was an instant connection. He kept scooching closer to me and bumping my knee, until he didn't move his hand, and I didn't want him to. ;)

I figure 21 and I will have fun for the time being, and in the meantime, I'll try to decipher my friend's feelings. I've been talking to Radhika about the situation, and she's given great advice. The next time we get together for dinner, I'll suggest we rent a movie too. We'll see. It makes me wonder if he does like me as he challenges me and frustrates me at every turn. No one else is able to push my buttons that far- he tells me he enjoys doing so.

I don't know, very sleepy right now, and my head is muddled. More on this tomorrow.

Cruel Joke

Well, I was originally going to post updates from my last posting, but then I had good news and was going to post about my upcoming date (not real), but instead I get to post about the meanest thing ever done to me.

I get a text yesterday saying "this is Michael and this is my new number."

I have like 4 Michaels in my phone so I asked "Michael who", he says Michael Johnson; I don't remember him. He tells me he met me at Paint the Town. I was a house lead and met a bunch of people during that event, as I worked two prep days, the rain out day, two work days, and two high ladder days. He said he worked on one of the Kroger houses in July, which narrows it down a little bit, but i still don't remember this guy. We chat for a few minutes more, and I figure I was so frantic, I've just forgotten about this guy, but apparently I had given out my number as a contact, which happened a lot over the course of the event. I told him to find me on facebook if he wanted (and maybe jog my memory). He says he doesn't do facebook, prefers personal interactions, and would i like to go to dinner, then asks me if I have a boyfriend.

Silly me, I tell him no, and start do some asking around to the people that helped on the event to try and figure it out. Meanwhile, I say I'll go, and he suggests Maggiano's, which is a really good italian restaurant here. Asks me if I'll go that night, but I had kickball, so I suggested the next night and set it up so a friend and his girlfriend would be there at the same time. We arranged to meet at 7:30pm.

Fast forward to later that night, and I'm hanging out with Anthony, and I get a text that says "hey butthead." I show the entire chain to Anthony and he thinks it's a joke. I have this one friend, David, that likes to play tricks, so I text him and ask if he's been messing with me all day. He says "maybe."

The next day, he sends me a text about his dog, and I tell him I don't want to talk to him. He tells me he was going to tell me and meant to send me a message right after, that he was screwing with me.

So, basically, a person I thought was a friend registers a new number, creates an elaborate scheme to mess with me, then says nothing about it until I confront him. I decided that he is not worth my time as a friend, so I have cut off all communication, which would bug him more than if I had yelled at him.

I defriended him on facebook, and haven't responded to any of his texts he's been sending me periodically for the past two days. I'm not changing my number, so hopefully, he gets the hint and leaves me alone.

Crossroads . . . more the bar than the church

I keep getting asked what's wrong with me. Apparently, I look sad all the time. It's funny, because I'm not sad, I'm just thinking about a lot of things. Pensive = Sad Panda, at least on my face. I've just been really quiet, moreso since I haven't been getting a lot of sleep than anything else.

I still haven't decided which organization to devote my time to: the YPs or Give Back. I would love to do the latter, but the former needs me more. I think my next step is to sit the chairs down and discuss an action plan. I'm also attending a leadership conference with Give Back next month. Hopefully, between those, I'll find direction.

I'm really worried I'm not going to find a roommate. It's going to make money so tight that I have to drop everything... then I'll officially go stir crazy. And my bills may exceed my income.

I think I have feelings for a friend. It's not a physical attraction, but I feel like romantic feelings could develop if we gave it a chance. I don't know how he feels about me, but we do enjoy each other's company, and we do a lot of one on one hanging out. We get along so well, and have so many jokes and stories just between us, and we argue too (which I love to do!). I know for a fact that if he isn't thinking along the same lines, this friendship would be over. It wouldn't be just an awkward moment, then we move on and remain friends; it would be over. He tends to only see in black and white. We're just so comfortable with each other, I'd hate to ruin it by saying "what if?"

I don't really like my job any more. I'd like to try something new, but I know how the department feels about associates that jump ship so quickly, and I could be blackballed. I'm going to look at the postings next month for the next wave and see if anything fits me anyway. I will have a serious discussion with my boss and tell him I want to apply as this job just isn't for me. It happens, right?

So, bottom line, I have a lot to think about, and decisions to make here in the near future. I am not sad, just not as effervescent as usual.

Another one of those days

Tra, Quoc L [10:35 AM]:
you just need to find that sugar daddy that we keep talking about
Witgen, Ann E [10:37 AM]:
are you applying? :D
Tra, Quoc L [10:38 AM]:
i think we would end up killing each other
and that may ruin at least one of our weekends
Witgen, Ann E [10:38 AM]:
lol
i do enjoy arguing with you, though
Tra, Quoc L [10:39 AM]:
see so you do like my sense of ridiculous
Witgen, Ann E [10:39 AM]:
well, i think i've told you before that you challenge me
not many people do- they just allow me to bowl them over
you may frustrate me at times, but i seem to learn something from it

Q, R, C, J, A ???

Well, it's past midnight, and I'm still awake.

Again.

I just can't seem to turn my mind off at the end of the day. Why is it churning? Oh, the usual. I have boys on the brain.

Again.

I seem to constantly review and consider, and evaluate things said or unsaid. I have so many directions to take (at least in my head), but no guts to pursue any of them. Plus, when my single male friends come to ME for advice, I wonder, "how could this have started out different?"

Maybe I just need to get laid.

Update:
1:47 am. Still awake. Fuck.

Rejections of the week

I asked a guy to lunch the other day. I'm guessing since I haven't heard from him, he's not interested. Oh well, at least I tried. Had a couple of other minor rejections, but not really worth a mention-especially since one came via facebook, and was more of a joke.

I don't know why I let these things bother me so much. I keep myself busy, I have a ton of friends, I am really active. I just feel that my life would be better shared with someone. Radhika suggested I start hanging out in coffee shops and bookstores and chat up random strangers. It seems a weird concept to me, but I'm willing to try anything. You never know where it will happen.

Josh has said he'll set me up with his friend John. We hung out a couple of weeks ago, and had a good time, but I'm not sure if there is any interest on his part. I guess we'll see.

I'm just in a funk in general. I am so sick of the United Way fundraising that I got roped into, and I have to make a major decision about what group I participate in this next year. I really want to get more involved in Give Back Cincinnati and possibly take a board position, but if I do that, I need to scale back my ARG participation at work. I won't be able to devote my time to the YP group and it may crumble without me. I would hate for Kroger to be the first company in the city to lose its young professional arm because no one cared enough.

I'm also stressing about my roommate search. I've had no takers yet, and I hate to find a stranger on craigslist. I really can't afford my apartment on my own, and I can't afford to move. I have 3 weeks to find someone, November 1st at the latest.

I've had several people comment that I seem down lately, which isn't like me. I hate that people are noticing the stress, and I hate what it's done to my face. Something needs to change, and soon.

Ooh! I wonder if they have that in my size.

Apparently, I am becoming the matchmaker for my single guy friends. I hooked up Josh and Elizabeth, and they seemed to hit it off so well that Jeremy has asked me to hook him up too. Also, at Quoc's party this weekend, Anthony is being matched up too with a new girl on the kickball team. He's all for it, and she asked me to introduce her to my single guy friends. It's pretty funny considering my only track record is two people I got together in Michigan, who dated for four years, broke up, and each quickly married the next person they dated.

I'm happy to do it, because I want everyone around me to be happy too, and I figure if I send good karma out into the universe, I will receive it back someday. You have to have hope, right?

Also, right now, I kind of feel like Cher in the movie "Clueless" when she has that epiphany at the end of the movie while shopping. I'm not really sure what to make of it, or if I should pursue it.

Still one of the guys

I got a guy's number tonight, and this after I was totally obnoxious just hanging out with a couple of my guys. We were trading insults like crazy, and this other guy had to get in on it. We had some good conversations, and he gave me his business card and told me to call him. I'm not sure if I will yet, I'd like to see how this weekend goes, as well as the fact this guy was probably over forty. And he smokes cigars, really good smelling cigars, but still.

Point to the good- John made a crack after I smelled the cigar that I like them long, thick, and black. I replied with, "better that than white and tiny!" He laughed really hard at my retort.

I swear I have an innie!

I was trying today to find a group to go watch the game with at a bar and have a couple of drinks. So, I asked my friend Phil to see what he was doing. He told me he and a couple of other guys I know are going to a bar and watching the game. So I ask to tag along, and he tells me "tagging along isn't an option cause its pretty much a dude's only thing tonight." Which is fine, but funny too. I am usually thought of as "one of the guys" and I'm really surprised Phil didn't want me to come, as I would be doing the same thing they were, and we've all hung out together before.

Consider the situation on the field last night, waiting for our turn to play ultimate frisbee:

I was the only girl on the field last night, and the guys were making comments about the racks of girls that walked by us. To be fair, the one girl had an enormous rack, even I looked. Out of 24 guys, not a one noticed that I was standing there while they made all these comments, and not a one made a comment about mine. Further proof I am "one of the guys."

Oh, and PS- I totally kicked ass out there! My improvement has come in leaps and bounds. Can't wait to play again next week!

Seriously? Again?

So, the new situation is no more. After a couple of weeks of flirting, we went out with a group last night and I told him that I'd been flirting with him, and he said he noticed and was flirting back. I asked if he was interested in me, and he said coyly, "Maybe." We talked and drank for most of the night, and later the group went to a new hole-in-the-wall bar on the west side. The conversation came back up and I told him he never gave me a definitive answer. He said, "Probably not. There's your answer." He also called himself a man whore, which does not bode well for any future things. The group hung out for a while longer, then we went back to his house and I crashed on the couch.

Today, we rehashed it totally sober.

Him: I wasn't trying to be rude yesterday but I get off on the chase.
Me: That's fine. I didn't think you were any more rude than normal. We're still good.
Him: Alright.
Me: Besides, you can't put any stock in drunken ramblings- any of the crap I said last night once we started on the shots.
Him: Actually, people are more honest drunk.
Me: I've heard that. Ok, so maybe I was being honest. Still doesn't mean anything.
Him: It did until it didn't go your way.
Me: Honestly, it's ok. I was just being flirty and you said no. I thought we could have fun, but I'm good.
Him: I had fun, didn't you?
Me: Absolutely.

Anyway, I'm going to consider this a total ruleout, as I don't play games, and he clearly still wants to with women. It really drives home the fact that I need to date older men. Younger ones are just not cutting it in terms of maturity.

Speaking of men lacking maturity levels, J contacted me the night before last. Now I know it's my bad to be on the phone with him for an hour, but I assume we are still friends. He was clearly drunk, and it was making me laugh. After a bit, the gist of the conversation was that he wanted to have phone sex right then, and talked about meeting me in Indianapolis for real sex. It was seriously funny with him trying to convince me while trying not to sound so slurry.

The winning phrase: "I don't have a job so I can be at your beck and call and meet on your schedule." But imagine this said with slurred words and stuttering. FYI- did not engage in phone sex, and am not meeting him in Indianapolis. He had his chance, and blew it.

I think I'm also a terrible person for getting a kick out of the situation. It's a heady feeling that I have multiple men thinking about me (Still talking to BH. *hangs head in shame*).

I really can't keep my mouth shut, can I?

I've had a new situation pop up, but that's all I'm going to say on the matter. I've decided that my downfall with each boy comes after I talk about it, so if I don't talk about it until it's a sure thing, I won't jinx myself.

I had to say something, though. lol

What the hell?

Received this email yesterday from the guy I was talking to- totally out of the blue, as the rest of the emails are completely innocuous.

Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: jazz band

How'dya like that subject line?! lol Aren't those a trip when there's like 8 RE:s? I noticed something else that made me laugh on our profiles. It said, explorers and directors are likely to have an exciting life in the bedroom.....Mmmmm lol Actually, that's kinda hot! From your fun, witty personality I bet you would be SOOO much fun in bed! I bet you talk so dirty, I love that! It has been a minute since I had some, how about you? I'll admit I'm a little sexually frustrated right now. That's kinda why I suggested a place close to you so if we both felt inclined, we could run to your place and "get acquainted" for a few hours...... ;) And fyi, I'm 10ng and thick like you wouldn't believe....

I honestly have no words.

It's in public, don't worry

I'm meeting up with the guy tonight. I'll have a bunch of my friends there and it's at an event in the park. We'll see if we have any chemistry. He does seem really nice.

Nevermind. He canceled.

And we're on again for Sunday.

Wasn't that a TV show in the 70's?

I'm done with BH. I get the impression he's gotten bored with me, and hems and haws every time I bring up something serious or talk about visiting. He is unwilling to travel to Ohio or meet halfway. Talking with him was fun, but it got to the point I was always initiating it. He would keep up the conversation, but I seemed to be always contacting him. So, I stopped. I've barely talked to him since last Friday when I told him about being out of cell phone range. He initially acted bummed, but then told me he probably wouldn't respond anyway. Which he hasn't, so I'm done. I'd rather stop now, than have strong feelings involved.

On a related note, I started up a conversation with a guy that is a friend of a friend (one of the girls I worked with in NOLA). We'll see what happens there. We're both looking for a relationship; time will tell if we have chemistry.

I'm really trying to work on taking things one day at a time and enjoying life. After a crapper of a day today, I made the effort to turn my mood around so I would be cheerful for kickball. That group of people just raises my spirits! We went to MLT's after, like we always do, and I had a great chat with Cheryl and later with Josh that really put things in perspective for me. Relationships should take some work, but if it's meant to be, it won't be as hard as I'm making it. I should enjoy being single and make the most of it. I was also told the other day, "Don't make someone your priority if you're an option." That's damn prophetic.

The Situation

I have this burning need to call Dan, knowing that he's home now, but so far I'm resisting. It's not because I miss him, but because I never really got closure. What's the best way to end it with someone that has communication issues? Stop talking!

I'm just feeling lonely since my other situation is in Michigan. What is it with me and long distance stuff? Let alone, always after the boys with issues! Also, a tiny portion of my brain is aware that I may be projecting my feelings onto a rebound since it's only been a month.

Anyway, I've been talking to BH every day since the first day he contacted me. We both are "in like" but are hesitant because of the distance. I wouldn't say we're dating, but I would go so far as to call it a flirtation with a future. While I was in NOLA, we talked for at least 3 hours every day: the hour bus ride in the morning, the hour at lunch, and the hour bus ride home. We would also text randomly throughout the evening, then a whole bunch some of the days before bed (depending on my level of sobriety). I'm going to go visit him sometime in September and spend the weekend; he's going to take me sailing.

At the very least, we don't have communication issues. There could be things that crop up in the future, but I can't think about that or I get upset. Again, reminding myself to take it one day at a time and really enjoy each one for what it is. I remind myself when I panic about the future, just where we were a month ago, which was not talking at all. Way for him to be bold!

On that- I asked why he contacted me in the first place, and he told me that he was looking for friends/flirting and had thought about me on and off since the drama reunion last year. He finally worked up the nerve to contact me on chat by making a comment about my status. Honestly, I had forgotten that we were friends on Facebook until he did.

I told him that I may be unreachable this weekend due to my family reunion being in BFE, and he's really bummed. On top of that, his phone crashed last night and he lost our entire conversation history. He's like me in that regard- he likes to go back and reread. I immediately went to the Android market and found an app that downloads your SMS to Gmail. Currently processing . . .

Immediate Update

I talked to BH all day today, and it was one of the most honest conversations I've ever had with a guy. We discussed the drama reunion at detail, and I asked him if he noticed that I was flirting with him. He said he did, and that he was interested in me, but we had both been drinking and we were surrounded by old friends who would have never let us hear the end of it. That's why he invited me to his house the next day for a party, but admitted that it would've just been me there, and I didn't show up. I had no idea!

Well, the good news is that he is still interested in me, and I'm not just reading between the lines. He actually came right out and said it! And then said, "Damn Ohio!" Which is the bad news. He lives in Kalamazoo now, and I am here. Five and a half hour drive, one way. We're going to keep talking, but maybe I'll see what he's doing Labor Day weekend . . .

Tinker toys

Well, I had a great birthday. I was single, but it ended up okay. My minor freak-out (in my head) as I approached 30 was that if I was single on that birthday, I would be single for life. That may be why I dragged it out with Dan a couple of weeks more than necessary. I'm still not going out on a lot of dates, but I am certainly using every opportunity I have to meet new people. I just wish there was someone out there that could handle me- I know I come across as a bit agressive and over-the-top, but I refuse to act falsely to attract a man.

With that note, a couple of updates, then a funny story.

The guy I was corresponding with from Chemistry stopped. Not sure why, but I reread the last note, and can't find anything that would have throw him off. Maybe he just thought we had different interests or was disappointed because I didn't suggest we meet right away. Oh well.

Correspondence with the guy from high school has taken an interesting turn. He contacted me last week to ask what the "t minus ...." comments in my Facebook status meant. He's contacted me every day since, and I remembered that he had given me his number at the drama reunion two years ago (My number is on my Facebook page, so it was only a matter of time before he contacted me). I also remember flirting with each other, but at the time, I attributed it to the fact we were both drinking. So, I sent him a text the other day. Now we've been constantly texting every day and chatting on Facebook. He's invited me to take a ride on his boat or in one of his custom built cars the next time I visit Michigan.

Today was the turning point. We had a very frank discussion about his ex wife, sex in general, work, etc. And kept talking . . . Somehow "closing the gap" was brought up, and I'm well aware he wants to meet up. I so don't know what to do, but I do know I don't really want to be in a similar situation to what I had with Dan. Although, the communication is already better. He has praised my honesty, but I guess it helps that we already knew each other from high school and drama club. Will keep you posted . . .

As promised, the funny story:

Went to Erin's housewarming party on Saturday night and had to go to the bathroom. I didn't see a lock, but I figured the fact that the door was closed would be a deterrent, or at least cause someone to take the time to knock. But no. I'm sitting there, doing my business, and Brian walks in on me. He turned red and ran out, apologizing. Of course, I had to keep teasing him about it all night for my own amusement. The truth is, I was more covered in the bathroom than I was in my bathing suit the following day, which he also saw me in. His take on the whole thing, "At least it was you, Ann." Yep. Friend zone.

Got it in writing

I got contacted by a guy I went to high school with on Facebook chat the other day. It was totally random and I haven't talked to him since the drama reunion two years ago. Now, every time I'm online, he wants to chat. And then quote random movie lines at me. I enjoy the conversations, but I have no idea why he's talking to me.

Speaking of non verbal communication, I've been exchanging emails with a guy I "met" online during a free weekend Chemistry.com was hosting. I sent him a note initially because his profile made me laugh out loud repeatedly. We do have a lot in common, and even if nothing happens, again, I'm enjoying the conversations.

Tonight is kickball, followed by beers at MLT's. No Katie = no wingman. I don't know what I'm going to do if Amir is there. He's a bum, but he did show interest . . .

Better to be pissed off than pissed on!

This is the conversation I was a little proud of that I referenced on Facebook. Usually, he pisses me off, but Friday, I managed to make him mad, to the point he logged off communicator and wouldn't talk to me the rest of the day, or that night at ultimate. Plus, I ran into him on the field and knocked him down! I am a horrible friend.

Tra, Quoc L [9:57 AM]:
I was asked by another college lady if I was still in college last night.
Witgen, Ann E [10:03 AM]:
you know, someday that will stop happening
and then what will you do?
right now, it's kind of your hook
Tra, Quoc L [10:07 AM]:
I'll move to a 3rd world country and pretend to be a rich American
Witgen, Ann E [10:07 AM]:
why not try the truth?
Tra, Quoc L [10:08 AM]:
i'm using the truth right now and it works just fine
Witgen, Ann E [10:08 AM]:
no you're not.
Tra, Quoc L [10:08 AM]:
nothing i say is false
Witgen, Ann E [10:08 AM]:
you don't make any effort to correct people's assumptions
Tra, Quoc L [10:08 AM]:
who's fault is that?
Witgen, Ann E [10:08 AM]:
i was told last week that i was 24, and i corrected them
it's deception
so it's your fault
a lie by omission
so, when the lady said you were in college, what did you tell her?
Tra, Quoc L [10:09 AM]:
bah i'm not the one that said it. i make true statements and they make assumptions without using critical thinking to ask the relevant questions
i told her i had finished my food science and technology degree
Witgen, Ann E [10:09 AM]:
that's deliberately misleading
she assumes recently, not ten years ago
Tra, Quoc L [10:10 AM]:
BS what is misleading about saying that I finished my food science and technology degree
again all anyone has do is ask
am i supposed to tell everyone my blood type too while we are doing full disclosure?
Witgen, Ann E [10:11 AM]:
now you're being ridiculous
all i'm saying is, you know that she was making an assumption about your age, and you should correct her
i know you enjoy this little game of yours, but trust me, it pisses women off
just offering my two cents
Tra, Quoc L [10:14 AM]:
i really think you're streching it way beyond reasonable to call it deceptions when I tell a person that I have completed the degree that I have completed.
Witgen, Ann E [10:15 AM]:
i will concede that deception is a strong word, but it still is an omission of a fact
Tra, Quoc L [10:16 AM]:
i'm ok with omission. I was just recently trained by a Lawyer again.
Witgen, Ann E [10:16 AM]:
that's stupid
in the course of the conversation, did you clear it up with her? or did she leave still thinking you were younger?
Tra, Quoc L [10:17 AM]:
i gave her all the clues she needed to put the piece of the puzzle together.
Witgen, Ann E [10:18 AM]:
see? games again
why does she have to piece it together?
Tra, Quoc L [10:19 AM]:
a test of intellegence. if she is not bright enough to figure it out, i'm not really interested in her anyway
Witgen, Ann E [10:20 AM]:
ah, it all makes much more sense now
Tra, Quoc L [10:20 AM]:
she gets plenty of clues through the course of the discussion
Witgen, Ann E [10:20 AM]:
i would think you would want a girl dumber than you
gives you the opportunity to feel superior a lot
Tra, Quoc L [10:20 AM]:
shrug that's too easy to find
Witgen, Ann E [10:21 AM]:
lol
there is a lot to be said for a straightforward, honest discussion
and there are different types of smarts
and knowledge in areas you don't have
Tra, Quoc L [10:22 AM]:
all my discussions are honest and straight foward, you're the one that claims that I do not have a filter
Witgen, Ann E [10:22 AM]:
so you really shouldn't reject someone out of hand because they can't figure out you're older than they assume
you don't have a filter
but you do tend to talk in circles
Tra, Quoc L [10:23 AM]:
I filter out the people who will have very little to talk with me about when it comes down to working through the complex issues of life
i would much rather be single than be in a relationship that can not possiblly work out
Witgen, Ann E [10:25 AM]:
so you are past the point of just enjoying dating?
Tra, Quoc L [10:25 AM]:
dating is a lot of work
Witgen, Ann E [10:27 AM]:
It doesn't have to be. You don't have to make every date an event. Some of the most fun I’ve had has been just hanging out. I think you make it a lot of work, which has colored your process of deciding who to date. This isn't over.

Updates

Dan- Still can't get a hold of him, and I won't leave a message on his voicemail breaking up with him. So are we officially done if he doesn't know?

Amir- He did not show up at MLT's tonight, but he did call me. We also texted back and forth and we're going out Saturday night! He wanted me to call him tonight, but it was way too late by the time I got home to do so and I left a message. I think he will be calling me back tomorrow.

Steve- I haven't talked to him yet since volleyball is tonight. I'm not sure if I will still ask him out; one guy is enough to handle at a time. Although I've been told to date a bunch and play the field, from a friend whose  track record isn't a lot to go by. Her current guy she doesn't even call her boyfriend even though they've been dating 5 months! She is very harsh on him and says he drives her nuts. The sex must be fantastic, or she would have dropped him like a hot potato.

B- I found out today that B likes Katie, which is fine with me. She likes him back and we are totally in the friend zone now. I will do all I can to help those two crazy kids make it! We're still hanging out Saturday afternoon, but I know where we stand now. It'll be a fun group, and I think Katie will join us too.

Moving on . . .

Dan called again on Sunday, but because of his broke-ass phone, all I got was "Hello? Hello?" before it cut off. Not really long enough for me to break up with him. I tried calling back later that night, but big surprise, went to voicemail. I'm not even annoyed anymore. I nothing him.

I called Amir last night, which ironically, I also got voicemail. I kept it breezy and told him my kickball team was coming to MLT's tomorrow night, so if he wanted to hang out, I would be there. We shall see if he shows.

I think I will also ask Steve out from my volleyball team. He seems desperate, which is right up my alley! ;) Moreover, he is a nice guy and as mentioned before, seems into me. We'll see on that as well.

As far as B, I drunk dialed him at the wedding on Saturday (open bar!), but I think we may have crossed over into the friend zone. I'm supposed to hang out with him and his buddy A (also single!) on Saturday. Either way, it will be a good time.

I will update as the situations unfold . . .

Making up for all the years

So, I guess I am making up for my lack of male attention over the years by having too much now. Not necessarily a bad thing, but wow, I don't know what to think.

1. Dan. Enough said.
2. Amir. Guy I met after kickball on Wednesday. He has my number, but if he doesn't call me this weekend, I'm pretty sure I'm going to call him.
3. Craise/Steve. Guys on my volleyball team that like me. Craise bought me a drink last night and fist bumps/high fives me after every time I hit the ball, regardless of where it goes. I missed last week's game because I had to be a volunteer beerseller at the Levee concert series, and Steve came up after the game, bought me dinner, and gave me a $10 in the jar for my trip.
4. B. Guy on my kickball team that I think likes me. He talks to me on communicator, hangs out after kickball, and drunk dialed me after the Kroger picnic last Friday.

And of course . . .
5. J. Guy from last year. Sent me a random text out of the blue last week telling me he missed me and wanted to come to my birthday party. Also asked to crash on my "couch." So not going there ever again- just bears mentioning!

I'm not trying to be vain with all the attention; it's just that listing it here helps me figure out what's going on in my life and maybe helps me find direction.

Man, 29 has been a whirlwind of excitement- I can't wait to turn 30!

You hussy!

I went to the bar after the kickball game tonight. There was a really cute guy there that was clearly into me. I ended up hanging out with him and his friend long after my teammates left and we ended up heading down the street to another bar. We had some fun talking and laughing and making fun of his drunk friend. I can't even blame this on the alcohol because I was drinking diet coke mostly. I let him put his arm around me, and when he walked me to my car, I exchanged numbers with him when he asked.

I know how this sounds, and I am truly conflicted. I have feelings for Dan, but he's not here, and I am lonely. We just assumed exclusivity with our relationship, and I'm not sure he's honoring it on his end. I enjoyed my time with this guy, and I feel like if he calls, I should hang out with him again. It's not that I'm trying to rationalize this or assuade my guilt, but I do feel like I should see what happens and make sure Dan is really the one I want to be with.

I don't know what I'm going to do at this point.

Where the chips fall

We've had some really good conversations this weekend and we are both making a better effort at communication. Whether we meet up in two weeks or not, his intership will be done in a month. And then we'll have three glorious weeks together! I know some of it will be cut short as he has to find a place to live for the school year, but he will actually have a place than I can come visit this time.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. It's just one day at a time, I'm still his sweetie, and we'll talk again tomorrow. I said I didn't need this stress, and I don't, so I just let it go. It is very freeing.

How convenient

So, now that the trip becomes HIS idea, and he actually agreed to meet up, he calls me last night and has come down sick. He doesn't know with what, but just that he feels nauseous, and hopes Gatorade will help. I'm of two minds with this- either he is sick and I should give him the benefit of the doubt, or I am justified in my anger and he's faking the whole thing so he doesn't have to make the drive. Would it be wrong of me to ask if he's really sick? I'm still in limbo as to whether we're going to meet or not, but I'm leaning towards not.

Dammit. He did it to me again. Will keep you posted.

Update: Well, clearly I am not in Pittsburgh. I agreed to give him another chance in two weeks and I'll be taking a half day at work so we can meet at the same time as was planned today. We also talked about when he comes home in August and having a set time to chat each day. Plus, I told him to listen to his frickin' voicemails. He notices when I call but never listens to them- he said he assumed I was saying to give me a call. I am much more original than that.

I'm not pissed off, although I clearly have cause to be, but I am just going to take each day as it comes. And make it a point to share my feelings!

Goodbye, Pittsburgh

Well, I laid it all out in a voicemail last night. I really hated doing that, but Dan is still sending me to it, and I needed to say some things. I told him I do have strong feelings, but I am very frustrated with never being able to get a hold of him. I said that we should set a certain time to talk each day so that we are still communicating, even if I don't see him before the end of his internship. I said that was fine, but I needed to know how he felt about it. I get the impression he doesn't want to meet up this weekend, and that's not ok, but I'll live. I didn't say anything about breaking up, even though I think we are, but I hope he got the seriousness of the situation.

I started crying at work this morning when my coffee cup came up missing, and I hate that he has reduced me to this. I haven't written a letter in over two weeks, and the last one was very angry and won't be shown to Dan. I hate being in limbo, and I refuse to break up via voicemail or text message. I guess I won't know if silence is the only answer I get . . .

Also, that is the last call to him I make without a response.

What does my heart say?

These days, I wonder if this relationship is worth it. I alternate between waiting for Dan to call and being pissed off at him, usually for not calling. Long distance relationships only work if both people communicate, and I feel like it's rather one-sided at this point. Apparently he feels the same way, as it was his main point in our argument.

He told me that I don't share my feelings with him. All this time I was trying to be a breezy and light girlfriend, and not get too serious too fast, and he's lamenting the fact that I am not being open. Well, if that's what he wants, that's what he'll get. I will gladly share what's in my heart and on my mind, if I could ever get a hold of him. This was my main point of the argument. I told him that I was frustrated with always getting his voicemail and that it has been over a month since we've seen each other. His response was "really?" and then tells me that long distance relationships are hard. No shit.

So, I tried to make plans to drive out and see him this past weekend, as we both had Monday off. I got permission to leave work early, putting me in New Jersey about midnight. This would've given us all day Saturday and Sunday, and most of Monday before I'd have to drive back. He tells me he's not asking me to make the drive, and I told him he doesn't have to, I'm offering. He tells me he has some plans for the weekend- including a guys barbeque (which apparently would not be fun for me). I said that I didn't expect him to change his plans, but that I would tag along, and hanging with the guys is what I do here anyway.

He told me he doesn't want me coming out for the weekend, and that he doesn't like me making the long drive. I said that was fine, I was trying to arrange it last minute, but that I was super bummed about not seeing him. He said that he did miss me and promised that we would meet up halfway this weekend.

We were both still upset, but by then, it was so late that we agreed to continue the conversation when I got out of work the next day. He told me he would call me at 5pm. The call never came, and he's been sending me directly to voicemail ever since- the calls where it cuts off mid ring and voicemail picks up.

This makes it extremely difficult to plan this weekend, and I'm to the point that if we don't meet up, I am going to end it. This thought just kills me inside, but dragging this out kills me even more. I don't need this shit every day, especially if it's just a precursor to how the next year will go.

It is imperative that we talk; if I could only get a hold of him. I really hate the thought of saying all of this on the phone instead of in person, but I guess I don't have a choice. I also have an inkling that he's avoiding me and feeling the same thing. Am I worth the headache he's having over this?

Well, we shall see what happens with the next conversation, of which I'm both looking forward to and dreading.

First official argument.

Dammit.

Details later.

Did we break up?

It has now been officially 9 days since I last heard from Dan, and I am not counting the voicemail he left me at 1am on Friday night, knowing full well I would be sleeping. I'm not sure what this means for our relationship, but every other guy I've dated has ended things the same way, by never calling me again. I'm afraid the same thing has happened here. We had wonderful plans for this weekend and next, and now, with no communication, everything's up in the air. I don't want to be broken up, but it seems once again, I am not given the choice. Fuck him.

The weekend that never was

I'm not sure what the "mandatory" meeting Dan had this weekend but when I called him this afternoon, he was at the beach, specifically the jersey shore. I am so mad because I should have been there. I feel like he made some shit up just so he didn't have to drive to Pittsburgh. There's a lot we need to talk about but I'll have to make a list so I remember. He's really good at distracting me and getting me talking. And all know how much I love to talk.

You're a big booger for not calling me the past two days. You better remedy this quick or I will be pissed.

New equipment wanted

I submitted the paperwork for a new PC today at work. We'll see if my request is granted. I did have over 50 printed ticket numbers from issues I've had in the last 2 and a half years. I can't believe I'll be denied, especially since the last one was such a spectacular fail. I was online and random things started to disconnect, then my entire computer froze. When I rebooted, it reset to factory settings and deleted my profile off it. All day today, I've been lamenting the lack of my own settings.

Community Service

I have been in a bummer mood since Friday night, when I got a phone call. I was supposed to meet up with Dan this coming weekend in Pittsburgh, as it is halfway between us, but he had to cancel because he had a mandatory thing for his internship. It was only on Saturday, but that would entail him driving out on Friday, driving back on Saturday, driving out and back again on Sunday. Not exactly conducive to a great weekend. Our schedules are booked up for the next month, so the next available time we have to get together is 4th of July weekend (Booo traffic!), which I have an event, or the following weekend, which is the Paint the Town make up day.

Paint the Town was supposed to take place today, but was rained out with monsoon-like weather. We had already tapped the kegs for the after party, and who wants good beer to go to waste? So, we held the party in the morning instead. We had the beer, and all of the breakfast food that was left over, and some of the lunch stuff that had already been delivered. Plus, I had a boombox in my trunk that I got out and set to the radio station of our sponsor.

The problem? The beer wagon was on the edge of the parking lot, and the event tent was over in the middle, leaving a good 50 feet between them with torrential rain. Someone came up with the bright idea of a beer shuttle. We had a red tent that we manned a person on each leg. I would yell "All aboard the beer shuttle!" and we would shuffle about 20 people at a time over to the beer wagon to fill up. We had it timed so we headed over about every 6 minutes, so we would announce that too. Well, of course, I made so many trips over, I had to refill as well. Consequently, I was drunk by 11 am (but not the only one!). I managed to be quite entertaining to a lot of people, and somewhere on the interwebs there is a video. After a while, I had to wait for Drew, as he was assisting with ladder pick up, so I climbed in my car and fell asleep.

Apparently, I sent several drunken texts to my boys, and a hilarious voice mail to Dan, of which I don't remember what I said. I talked to him that night, and he told me that it was so cute :) He could totally tell I was drunk on the message, though. It has been a while since I've had more than 1 or 2 drinks, so it does not take much at all anymore- even less so than post surgery.

Anyway, talking about my Dan situation (damn his broken phone!) with a couple of people, taking a well-deserved nap, and good ol' fashioned drinking helped lift my mood.

PS- It's been one month today! This officially ends my challenge of keeping my relationship with Dan off Facebook. Not sure if I win; I'll have to ask on Monday. I don't think I'm going to go crazy and post all the pictures of us, or update my relationship status, but I will relax on the status updates, and posting in general. Hence the reason why I uploaded so much stuff today!