Crossroads . . . more the bar than the church

I keep getting asked what's wrong with me. Apparently, I look sad all the time. It's funny, because I'm not sad, I'm just thinking about a lot of things. Pensive = Sad Panda, at least on my face. I've just been really quiet, moreso since I haven't been getting a lot of sleep than anything else.

I still haven't decided which organization to devote my time to: the YPs or Give Back. I would love to do the latter, but the former needs me more. I think my next step is to sit the chairs down and discuss an action plan. I'm also attending a leadership conference with Give Back next month. Hopefully, between those, I'll find direction.

I'm really worried I'm not going to find a roommate. It's going to make money so tight that I have to drop everything... then I'll officially go stir crazy. And my bills may exceed my income.

I think I have feelings for a friend. It's not a physical attraction, but I feel like romantic feelings could develop if we gave it a chance. I don't know how he feels about me, but we do enjoy each other's company, and we do a lot of one on one hanging out. We get along so well, and have so many jokes and stories just between us, and we argue too (which I love to do!). I know for a fact that if he isn't thinking along the same lines, this friendship would be over. It wouldn't be just an awkward moment, then we move on and remain friends; it would be over. He tends to only see in black and white. We're just so comfortable with each other, I'd hate to ruin it by saying "what if?"

I don't really like my job any more. I'd like to try something new, but I know how the department feels about associates that jump ship so quickly, and I could be blackballed. I'm going to look at the postings next month for the next wave and see if anything fits me anyway. I will have a serious discussion with my boss and tell him I want to apply as this job just isn't for me. It happens, right?

So, bottom line, I have a lot to think about, and decisions to make here in the near future. I am not sad, just not as effervescent as usual.