Another day of . . .

I just ate a yogurt. Usually I enjoy them, but with all of my recent problems, it's just not sitting right. I'm also getting sick of oatmeal. I've had a packet every morning at work for the past eighteen months. I'm not sure what I'll do for breakfast now- it was the perfect situation. I could keep the packets in my desk, and we have hot water in the kitchenette. Plus, since I never get up in time for breakfast, it gave me a chance to eat at work, no matter what time I arrived.

I wish I didn't have to play the waiting game. I want everything now! I know I should let things progress normally, in their own time, but it's really hard for me not to turn obsessive and bother him every hour of the day (i'm restraining myself to one IM conversation a day, like we had beforehand). We'll have lunch together tomorrow with a group of people, and I'm sure my face will be red most of the time. I blush so graphically, everyone is going to wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Friday and this weekend are up in the air, which is what is really bothering me. I thought we had definitive plans, but life and work have gotten in the way. We were supposed to go to lunch privately today, but I am reworking a contract from scratch, and J just got a huge project with a deadline of tomorrow afternoon. Because of this, the weekend is up in the air. I sure hope he doesn't bail on the luncheon, because it's been a week now since I've seen him, and I'm getting a little cranky. People at work are starting to notice, and ask me what is the matter.

Maybe I should get drunk and call him Friday night, since that seems to be the MO of the relationship. :)

I'm trying to stay positive, especially in light of the fact that this is such a minor thing with everything else in the world. I found out my boss' grandma passed away yesterday, and here I've been acting like a fool. I'm going to stop by my bible study group before the luncheon tomorrow for a little peace of mind. I always feel better afterwards. Is it selfish to ask them to pray for me?