Bait and Switch

I got invited to a party at one of my work friend's. The invite said "Come enjoy a FUN party" and "Kendra is going to blow the roof off the joint!" Now, I don't know who Kendra is, but I figured I would meet her through our mutual friend and felt excited to be invited to a lovely wine and cheese party (we all were supposed to bring some alcohol). I even baked brownies.

Imagine my surprise when I walked through the door, and a "Pure Romance" table was set up. You know, one of those parties that sells adult toys and lotions. WHAT THE HELL!!!

Here's the kicker: not only did I stay, even though I was a little perturbed by not knowing the truth in advance, but I actually bought something! Am I a great friend or what?

It was shave lotion, if you want to know. Get your mind out of the gutter.

No willpower whatsoever

Dammit, I can't even make it two days. I blame Microsoft for the ease of using their IM feature.

Oh, and he started it. So there.

Turning over a new (old) leaf

I was going back over some of my entries recently, and I thought, "wow, I've gone off the point of this blog." What was originally a funny concept of me sticking my foot in my mouth has turned into a maudlin review of my love life. When did I turn into such a whiner? If this is depressing to me, I can only imagine how it seems to the reader. So, going forth, no more touching on the drama, but plenty more of the funny. And continuing in that vein, today is the first day of officially ignoring him on IM. I realized this weekend that I will never get him out of my system if we continue to talk every day, and I let him string me along. However it turns out is in the hands of God. I will not stress over it anymore.

I do feel better.

Telling a story with pictures

Witgen, Ann E [3:35 PM]:
do you get to leave early for your trip this weekend?
Smith, Jason T [3:35 PM]:
I had to cancel my trip
I was supposed to have today off
Witgen, Ann E [3:36 PM]:
oh, that sucks.
Smith, Jason T [3:36 PM]:
that whole no money thing sucks
I can't wait fro wednesday
Witgen, Ann E [3:36 PM]:
i hear you.
well, it was supposed to be crappy weather almost all weekend anyway.
horrible for driving
i'm sure that's no consolation
Smith, Jason T [3:37 PM]:
yeah it wouldve been horrible on the lake
I was going to my grandparents lake cottage
Witgen, Ann E [3:41 PM]:
you'll be able to take your boat next season- that's something to look forward to
Smith, Jason T [3:41 PM]:
nah, their boats and jet skis are all better than my boat
Witgen, Ann E [3:42 PM]:
jet skis look dangerous
Smith, Jason T [3:42 PM]:
oh my god theyre so much fun
Witgen, Ann E [3:42 PM]:
i've never been on one, but with my luck, i would flip it and hurt myself
that's what i manage to do every time i go tubing
Smith, Jason T [3:43 PM]:
tubing is like the most dangerous thing to do on water
you have no control whatsoever
Witgen, Ann E [3:44 PM]:
oh, that's what it is. works for me, blame the sport, not my lack of ability
it's still fun, but the next day i have bruises in strange places and muscle aches.
Witgen, Ann E [3:47 PM]:
here's a mental picture for you: one of those huge 4-man tubes and me causing it to flip during a turn. the other three people fall off into the water, more or less right there. Me, on the other hand, bounce across the water on my face about 4 or 5 times, then sink like a stone, despite the life jacket. i surface, and the boat was no where in sight, that's how far i flew.

Guess you had to be there

Witgen, Ann E [2:00 PM]:
i can't save anything now
is my status still green?
Smith, Jason T [2:02 PM]:
no
Witgen, Ann E [2:03 PM]:
well crap, i was messing with my settings and apparently i'm in a meeting
Smith, Jason T [2:04 PM]:
good for you
Witgen, Ann E [2:06 PM]:
i know. it's with myself, so no interruptions
Smith, Jason T [2:07 PM]:
hey look me too
and now I'm not
Witgen, Ann E [2:09 PM]:
i can't get it to stop
Smith, Jason T [2:10 PM]:
you're a semi smart girl I'm sure you'll figure it out
Witgen, Ann E [2:10 PM]:
semi??
ha
ha
HA
Smith, Jason T [2:10 PM]:
:)
:P
Witgen, Ann E [2:11 PM]:
just because you have me on IQ by 7 points, does not make me semi
Smith, Jason T [2:11 PM]:
well you are pretty smart...........for a girl
Witgen, Ann E [2:12 PM]:
you need a bigger shovel
for that hole you're digging
Smith, Jason T [2:12 PM]:
is it really a hole if you know you're doing it
Witgen, Ann E [2:14 PM]:
that depends. when you look up, do you see ground above your head?
Smith, Jason T [2:15 PM]:
never
Witgen, Ann E [2:16 PM]:
then i'll just have to beat you with the shovel
lol
Smith, Jason T [2:16 PM]:
yeah its a risk guys like me have to take
I am Jason T Smith you know
Witgen, Ann E [2:16 PM]:
Mixer extraordinaire!
when i send you an email, i specifically type out jason.s.smith and by the time i hit send, it's converted the name to Jason T.
apparently it still works.
Witgen, Ann E [2:25 PM]:
ta da! no more meeting!

If the shoe fits . . .

Today I feel weird; like a general sense of unease. I think it has something to do with my dreams last night. Of course, I don't remember anything I dreamt now, except for the feelings they drew out of me: loneliness and longing. You don't need a dream dictionary to interpret those.

I'm really anxious today, like I'm anticipating something happening. There's nothing on my schedule or anything I know about, but try telling my nervous system that. It's very weird and I wish I could relax.

On a different note, I think Chris would like to set me up with her son. While this is all well and good, he comes with a lot of baggage- two kids and a psychotic ex. Not to mention the fact that, as much as I adore Chris, they are way too close. She's on the phone with him right now, and usually every day multiple times.

This weekend should be good; another Give Back event tomorrow, and I'm dragging AJ to it. He needs to get out and meet people, even if they're my friends first.

Lo chupas.

You know, I'm a at good place right now. But, it would be all the more nicer if I wasn't bugged every morning when I get into work on IM by so-and-so. It does put a small wrench in my "getting over you" plans. Stupid boys.

"I don't date girls I work with." Apparently, it is okay to write me every day instead. Yeah, I'm the one that's not adjusted here.

PS- I won the bet. JK Rowling totally counts, even though it made me look a little pathetic for spending so much research time on it.

How did you meet?

I've been told by several people that I am crazy to think I will meet the person I will marry at work. Every one of them rushes to tell me their horror stories about it not working out. When I point out several people that have had success stories, I am told they are all flukes. Even though, for every horror story, I can match it with a success. That's a lot of flukes.

The way I figure it, you spend half your life working, and another quarter sleeping. If I left it up to the remaining 25%, it makes for a bleak future indeed. I suggested to the chair of the Young Professional group that we have a singles mixer. Maybe give it a theme like "the 80's." We'll see if my suggestion is take seriously. Or if I remain single forever.

It's okay, it's all right.

Yesterday was interesting. We worked together for three hours on the United Way bag stuffing and managed to get along. Apparently, ignoring the whole thing is the way to go. I was super nice and cheery, and shortly it became easy to do. Although, it was strange talking to him after everyone left and we were waiting for a dolly to transport the boxes. He struck up a conversation about work to fill the awkward silence. We have to sell the bags on Friday and Monday, so it will get easier. I would like us to be good friends again (Notice in the first picture, J on the right and me on the left. I wasn't exaggerating about working side by side.).





I feel a little ridiculous for last week, but maybe what I needed to get him out of my system was a small drunken binge and some shopping. Check and check.

Whoopsies.

I've kind of told my boss the gist of what was going on with me recently, without using names or specific details. Now she's got it in her head to figure out who I was seeing. She keeps asking me anytime I greet someone in the elevator, or in the building, "Was it him? Is it him?" I don't think she'll figure it out- she's only seen him the one time.

It's a good thing we get along so well, or I'd be a lot more annoyed. One of my work friends figured it out right away, and I didn't have to tell her anything. She noticed how J and I were acting at various events and group outings for the past couple of months, then the fact I was really quiet Wednesday and Thursday (which everyone knows now is not like me). I shudder to think how she's treating him right now, since she's on my side and he works on her floor.

Although, the thought of her giving him the stink eye all day gives me a bit of a mood booster.

He may have figured out I'm pissed since he wouldn't sit with me at the luncheon yesterday, and he's turned his IM off to me. I know he's there, since M is there and active.

Okay, this has clearly been a week of drama, and I'm fed up with it. It's not my norm, so I aim to stop dwelling right now. Tuesday should be interesting. J and I have to work side by side on an event. I will be pleasant if it kills me.

J is stupid.

That is all.

Another day of . . .

I just ate a yogurt. Usually I enjoy them, but with all of my recent problems, it's just not sitting right. I'm also getting sick of oatmeal. I've had a packet every morning at work for the past eighteen months. I'm not sure what I'll do for breakfast now- it was the perfect situation. I could keep the packets in my desk, and we have hot water in the kitchenette. Plus, since I never get up in time for breakfast, it gave me a chance to eat at work, no matter what time I arrived.

I wish I didn't have to play the waiting game. I want everything now! I know I should let things progress normally, in their own time, but it's really hard for me not to turn obsessive and bother him every hour of the day (i'm restraining myself to one IM conversation a day, like we had beforehand). We'll have lunch together tomorrow with a group of people, and I'm sure my face will be red most of the time. I blush so graphically, everyone is going to wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Friday and this weekend are up in the air, which is what is really bothering me. I thought we had definitive plans, but life and work have gotten in the way. We were supposed to go to lunch privately today, but I am reworking a contract from scratch, and J just got a huge project with a deadline of tomorrow afternoon. Because of this, the weekend is up in the air. I sure hope he doesn't bail on the luncheon, because it's been a week now since I've seen him, and I'm getting a little cranky. People at work are starting to notice, and ask me what is the matter.

Maybe I should get drunk and call him Friday night, since that seems to be the MO of the relationship. :)

I'm trying to stay positive, especially in light of the fact that this is such a minor thing with everything else in the world. I found out my boss' grandma passed away yesterday, and here I've been acting like a fool. I'm going to stop by my bible study group before the luncheon tomorrow for a little peace of mind. I always feel better afterwards. Is it selfish to ask them to pray for me?

I'm on the verge of tears.

I am so stressed today. I'm involved in so many groups at work, and they all are coming to a head right now, so I'm needed immediately for all of them. Also, one of the contracts I'm working on, apparently I made some severe mistakes way back at the beginning, and now nothing is coming out right. Back to square one for that. Plus, I'm still on an emotional roller coaster with J, and I want to smack him more than kiss him! Everytime we take a step forward, he takes two steps back.

So, since I'm all over the place with that issue, work is stressing me out much more than it ever has. I've handled twice as much, and on a deadline, without this turmoil. I'm starting to fear for my health (in particular, my hair) because I have to force myself to eat. Anytime I do, I feel sick to my stomach, but I know if I don't, my hair will start to fall out because of protein deficiency. If it doesn't already because of stress.

In summary, boys suck.

BLARRGH!!!