Cruel Joke

Well, I was originally going to post updates from my last posting, but then I had good news and was going to post about my upcoming date (not real), but instead I get to post about the meanest thing ever done to me.

I get a text yesterday saying "this is Michael and this is my new number."

I have like 4 Michaels in my phone so I asked "Michael who", he says Michael Johnson; I don't remember him. He tells me he met me at Paint the Town. I was a house lead and met a bunch of people during that event, as I worked two prep days, the rain out day, two work days, and two high ladder days. He said he worked on one of the Kroger houses in July, which narrows it down a little bit, but i still don't remember this guy. We chat for a few minutes more, and I figure I was so frantic, I've just forgotten about this guy, but apparently I had given out my number as a contact, which happened a lot over the course of the event. I told him to find me on facebook if he wanted (and maybe jog my memory). He says he doesn't do facebook, prefers personal interactions, and would i like to go to dinner, then asks me if I have a boyfriend.

Silly me, I tell him no, and start do some asking around to the people that helped on the event to try and figure it out. Meanwhile, I say I'll go, and he suggests Maggiano's, which is a really good italian restaurant here. Asks me if I'll go that night, but I had kickball, so I suggested the next night and set it up so a friend and his girlfriend would be there at the same time. We arranged to meet at 7:30pm.

Fast forward to later that night, and I'm hanging out with Anthony, and I get a text that says "hey butthead." I show the entire chain to Anthony and he thinks it's a joke. I have this one friend, David, that likes to play tricks, so I text him and ask if he's been messing with me all day. He says "maybe."

The next day, he sends me a text about his dog, and I tell him I don't want to talk to him. He tells me he was going to tell me and meant to send me a message right after, that he was screwing with me.

So, basically, a person I thought was a friend registers a new number, creates an elaborate scheme to mess with me, then says nothing about it until I confront him. I decided that he is not worth my time as a friend, so I have cut off all communication, which would bug him more than if I had yelled at him.

I defriended him on facebook, and haven't responded to any of his texts he's been sending me periodically for the past two days. I'm not changing my number, so hopefully, he gets the hint and leaves me alone.

Crossroads . . . more the bar than the church

I keep getting asked what's wrong with me. Apparently, I look sad all the time. It's funny, because I'm not sad, I'm just thinking about a lot of things. Pensive = Sad Panda, at least on my face. I've just been really quiet, moreso since I haven't been getting a lot of sleep than anything else.

I still haven't decided which organization to devote my time to: the YPs or Give Back. I would love to do the latter, but the former needs me more. I think my next step is to sit the chairs down and discuss an action plan. I'm also attending a leadership conference with Give Back next month. Hopefully, between those, I'll find direction.

I'm really worried I'm not going to find a roommate. It's going to make money so tight that I have to drop everything... then I'll officially go stir crazy. And my bills may exceed my income.

I think I have feelings for a friend. It's not a physical attraction, but I feel like romantic feelings could develop if we gave it a chance. I don't know how he feels about me, but we do enjoy each other's company, and we do a lot of one on one hanging out. We get along so well, and have so many jokes and stories just between us, and we argue too (which I love to do!). I know for a fact that if he isn't thinking along the same lines, this friendship would be over. It wouldn't be just an awkward moment, then we move on and remain friends; it would be over. He tends to only see in black and white. We're just so comfortable with each other, I'd hate to ruin it by saying "what if?"

I don't really like my job any more. I'd like to try something new, but I know how the department feels about associates that jump ship so quickly, and I could be blackballed. I'm going to look at the postings next month for the next wave and see if anything fits me anyway. I will have a serious discussion with my boss and tell him I want to apply as this job just isn't for me. It happens, right?

So, bottom line, I have a lot to think about, and decisions to make here in the near future. I am not sad, just not as effervescent as usual.

Another one of those days

Tra, Quoc L [10:35 AM]:
you just need to find that sugar daddy that we keep talking about
Witgen, Ann E [10:37 AM]:
are you applying? :D
Tra, Quoc L [10:38 AM]:
i think we would end up killing each other
and that may ruin at least one of our weekends
Witgen, Ann E [10:38 AM]:
lol
i do enjoy arguing with you, though
Tra, Quoc L [10:39 AM]:
see so you do like my sense of ridiculous
Witgen, Ann E [10:39 AM]:
well, i think i've told you before that you challenge me
not many people do- they just allow me to bowl them over
you may frustrate me at times, but i seem to learn something from it

Q, R, C, J, A ???

Well, it's past midnight, and I'm still awake.

Again.

I just can't seem to turn my mind off at the end of the day. Why is it churning? Oh, the usual. I have boys on the brain.

Again.

I seem to constantly review and consider, and evaluate things said or unsaid. I have so many directions to take (at least in my head), but no guts to pursue any of them. Plus, when my single male friends come to ME for advice, I wonder, "how could this have started out different?"

Maybe I just need to get laid.

Update:
1:47 am. Still awake. Fuck.

Rejections of the week

I asked a guy to lunch the other day. I'm guessing since I haven't heard from him, he's not interested. Oh well, at least I tried. Had a couple of other minor rejections, but not really worth a mention-especially since one came via facebook, and was more of a joke.

I don't know why I let these things bother me so much. I keep myself busy, I have a ton of friends, I am really active. I just feel that my life would be better shared with someone. Radhika suggested I start hanging out in coffee shops and bookstores and chat up random strangers. It seems a weird concept to me, but I'm willing to try anything. You never know where it will happen.

Josh has said he'll set me up with his friend John. We hung out a couple of weeks ago, and had a good time, but I'm not sure if there is any interest on his part. I guess we'll see.

I'm just in a funk in general. I am so sick of the United Way fundraising that I got roped into, and I have to make a major decision about what group I participate in this next year. I really want to get more involved in Give Back Cincinnati and possibly take a board position, but if I do that, I need to scale back my ARG participation at work. I won't be able to devote my time to the YP group and it may crumble without me. I would hate for Kroger to be the first company in the city to lose its young professional arm because no one cared enough.

I'm also stressing about my roommate search. I've had no takers yet, and I hate to find a stranger on craigslist. I really can't afford my apartment on my own, and I can't afford to move. I have 3 weeks to find someone, November 1st at the latest.

I've had several people comment that I seem down lately, which isn't like me. I hate that people are noticing the stress, and I hate what it's done to my face. Something needs to change, and soon.

Ooh! I wonder if they have that in my size.

Apparently, I am becoming the matchmaker for my single guy friends. I hooked up Josh and Elizabeth, and they seemed to hit it off so well that Jeremy has asked me to hook him up too. Also, at Quoc's party this weekend, Anthony is being matched up too with a new girl on the kickball team. He's all for it, and she asked me to introduce her to my single guy friends. It's pretty funny considering my only track record is two people I got together in Michigan, who dated for four years, broke up, and each quickly married the next person they dated.

I'm happy to do it, because I want everyone around me to be happy too, and I figure if I send good karma out into the universe, I will receive it back someday. You have to have hope, right?

Also, right now, I kind of feel like Cher in the movie "Clueless" when she has that epiphany at the end of the movie while shopping. I'm not really sure what to make of it, or if I should pursue it.

Still one of the guys

I got a guy's number tonight, and this after I was totally obnoxious just hanging out with a couple of my guys. We were trading insults like crazy, and this other guy had to get in on it. We had some good conversations, and he gave me his business card and told me to call him. I'm not sure if I will yet, I'd like to see how this weekend goes, as well as the fact this guy was probably over forty. And he smokes cigars, really good smelling cigars, but still.

Point to the good- John made a crack after I smelled the cigar that I like them long, thick, and black. I replied with, "better that than white and tiny!" He laughed really hard at my retort.

I swear I have an innie!

I was trying today to find a group to go watch the game with at a bar and have a couple of drinks. So, I asked my friend Phil to see what he was doing. He told me he and a couple of other guys I know are going to a bar and watching the game. So I ask to tag along, and he tells me "tagging along isn't an option cause its pretty much a dude's only thing tonight." Which is fine, but funny too. I am usually thought of as "one of the guys" and I'm really surprised Phil didn't want me to come, as I would be doing the same thing they were, and we've all hung out together before.

Consider the situation on the field last night, waiting for our turn to play ultimate frisbee:

I was the only girl on the field last night, and the guys were making comments about the racks of girls that walked by us. To be fair, the one girl had an enormous rack, even I looked. Out of 24 guys, not a one noticed that I was standing there while they made all these comments, and not a one made a comment about mine. Further proof I am "one of the guys."

Oh, and PS- I totally kicked ass out there! My improvement has come in leaps and bounds. Can't wait to play again next week!

Seriously? Again?

So, the new situation is no more. After a couple of weeks of flirting, we went out with a group last night and I told him that I'd been flirting with him, and he said he noticed and was flirting back. I asked if he was interested in me, and he said coyly, "Maybe." We talked and drank for most of the night, and later the group went to a new hole-in-the-wall bar on the west side. The conversation came back up and I told him he never gave me a definitive answer. He said, "Probably not. There's your answer." He also called himself a man whore, which does not bode well for any future things. The group hung out for a while longer, then we went back to his house and I crashed on the couch.

Today, we rehashed it totally sober.

Him: I wasn't trying to be rude yesterday but I get off on the chase.
Me: That's fine. I didn't think you were any more rude than normal. We're still good.
Him: Alright.
Me: Besides, you can't put any stock in drunken ramblings- any of the crap I said last night once we started on the shots.
Him: Actually, people are more honest drunk.
Me: I've heard that. Ok, so maybe I was being honest. Still doesn't mean anything.
Him: It did until it didn't go your way.
Me: Honestly, it's ok. I was just being flirty and you said no. I thought we could have fun, but I'm good.
Him: I had fun, didn't you?
Me: Absolutely.

Anyway, I'm going to consider this a total ruleout, as I don't play games, and he clearly still wants to with women. It really drives home the fact that I need to date older men. Younger ones are just not cutting it in terms of maturity.

Speaking of men lacking maturity levels, J contacted me the night before last. Now I know it's my bad to be on the phone with him for an hour, but I assume we are still friends. He was clearly drunk, and it was making me laugh. After a bit, the gist of the conversation was that he wanted to have phone sex right then, and talked about meeting me in Indianapolis for real sex. It was seriously funny with him trying to convince me while trying not to sound so slurry.

The winning phrase: "I don't have a job so I can be at your beck and call and meet on your schedule." But imagine this said with slurred words and stuttering. FYI- did not engage in phone sex, and am not meeting him in Indianapolis. He had his chance, and blew it.

I think I'm also a terrible person for getting a kick out of the situation. It's a heady feeling that I have multiple men thinking about me (Still talking to BH. *hangs head in shame*).

I really can't keep my mouth shut, can I?

I've had a new situation pop up, but that's all I'm going to say on the matter. I've decided that my downfall with each boy comes after I talk about it, so if I don't talk about it until it's a sure thing, I won't jinx myself.

I had to say something, though. lol