A little time, distance, and resolve have made this entry bearable to write. And cathartic in the end.
As you can see from the pictures I posted on Facebook, the people that went to the Cyclones hockey game are AJ, Jess, Stan, J, D, Misty, and I. I should have known better with those two guys and dollar beer night, but apparently I have a broad learning curve. I didn’t watch much of the game, but I do remember having a good time during. D, J, and I were very drunk. D was trying to get me to put the moves on J (sample: “he’s drunk, try to fuck him”), and Misty was trying to stop me (sample: “don’t pay any attention to him tonight. Act like you’re not interested!!! And I mean it!!!!!”). Mind you, most of this was taking place via text, so the rest of the group was basically unawares. J had some inkling because every chance I got, I was in his space: I drank out of his beer, I was touching his arm (or smacking it, as needed), I fell asleep on his shoulder, etc. I know he didn’t mind.
So the game is over, and we decide to head to Haufbrau Haus across the river. Stan took the five of us in the car, and J and D walked across the bridge to Newport, which was probably a bad idea as drunk as they were. They beat us there, and Misty grabs me and doesn’t allow me to stand with them because she was cutting off all of my contact with them. She buys me a mega beer (like 64 oz!), and we head to the table where everyone else is sitting. Both guys start texting me to ask what is going on, and if Misty is mad at them. I told J that she was mad at him for the way he treats me, and I told D she was mad at him for getting in the middle and being an instigator. He does enjoy starting shit, then sitting back and watching it hit the fan.
They ended up leaving because she made them feel unwelcome, but continued to text me. Both of them went to J’s place and were having conversations with me via text. J wanted to know how he had treated me and I told him that he was afraid to man up and actually try a relationship with me. He told me that he wasn’t afraid, just that he didn’t want a relationship with me. He said he wasn’t interested in me that way, but it’s apparently okay every time he gets drunk to call or text me to try and get me to come over. I told him at this point, we either needed to go out, or cut off all contact.
D kept telling me to try something with J, and then he asked if he had a chance with Misty and asked me to give him her number. I didn’t and told him he didn’t have a chance in hell with her. He texted back, “Good I don’t like loose whores anyways.” At this point, Misty took my phone away and started texting with D. They both were writing really mean things to each other and both got really pissed off. At the same time, Misty and I are up on the table dancing with a couple of older guys that were sitting next to us (this is allowed there). If you can imagine the picture: a bunch of people up on the table dancing and my purple phone getting passed back and forth between us, then a lot of hollering and exclaiming over what was said.
About this point, our beers were gone, and before we could order more, Stan said we had to go (he was DD) because he had to work in the morning. Misty was ok to drive, so we dropped her off at her car, and then headed home. I passed out on the floor of the bathroom because the tiles were cold and felt good on my face. My phone ended up in the kitchen somehow, which is probably a good thing since the guys started texting again. D asked me if I wanted to fuck (seriously, dude?), and J started a text with, “Did I mention at all . . .” Who knows what I would have done if I could have heard my phone. After about 2 hours, I woke up and got ready for bed.
Misty called me the next morning to make sure I was okay, and to reiterate I needed to cut off all contact with both of the guys. I lasted until Tuesday. J sent me an IM at work that said, “I know you’re pissed off at me, but I got taken off the Fry’s list.” Referring to the contract I’m working on and the strike duty he was going to be sent to Arizona for- which he got removed from. Of course I responded, and basically we’ve been chatting every day since, just like before.
I began talking again to D about the same time. I know he likes to cause trouble, but he means well, and I can’t stay mad at my best friend in Cincinnati. He’s aware of the entire situation with J and me, and is friends with both of us, so he’s trying everything he knows to do to try to get us together. Mostly because it amuses him, but a little part because he does means well.
As far as the future, I’m realistic. Right now, I’m a little heartbroken, but it hurts more to cut them out of my life. I’m not going to wait around for J to grow up, but I’ll probably never completely discount him. I do have oodles more of confidence now, and I’m taking every opportunity to get out there, so I feel like I’m on the cusp of something great in my life. Plus, my Christmas present to myself (and partially because I got a raise) is a paid month on chemistry.com. I feel like if I remove all of the bullshit barriers, and both parties are at the same point in their life, I could have some real luck. Besides, there’s a lot of single men in Cincinnati, and I can’t wait to dive in!!
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