I don't want to be a member of a club that wouldn't have me.

This email exchange took place today.

Erin: I noticed the kickball sign ups are posted on CSL's website for spring, and it got me thinking about our team. I think we're going to need to split into two teams based on more people who want to play. I don't think it's realistic to have one giant team with everyone being happy about playing time. Since you're the person who knows the most people on the team personally (the social glue, if you will), I thought you'd be the best person to contact. I didn't want to wait and leave anyone hanging with no time to form a team.
Ann: I wasn’t aware we had more people that wanted to play, unless you are referencing the posting on the YP sharepoint site. I think we would be fine with the group from last year playing again, and then any new people forming a new team. The only barrier is they would need someone to step up and be captain and take care of the fee.
Erin: The additional people aren't Kroger YP members. We want to be more competitive, and make our team less about Kroger since those who aren't Kroger employees don't enjoy it as much. I'll be entering a separate team. No hard feelings I hope.
Ann: Just let me know what team I'm on!
Erin: I thought you'd make a good captain of the new team. Again, I really hope there aren't any hard feelings!
Ann: No thanks. I don’t want to be captain. I just want to pay my money and play. I’m in charge of too many things as it is, and I don’t relish taking on anything else. Why didn’t you just start the email off with, “Hey, Ann, we’re kicking you off the team. No hard feelings.” Then I wouldn’t have been confused.
Erin: It's not my intention to kick you off the team. There's an obvious difference between the people who want to compete and the people who want to socialize. I honestly think both groups would enjoy kickball more if we had separate teams. Maybe Dawn, Allison or Phil would be interested in leading the team. Regardless, I just want everyone to enjoy playing.
Ann: hey, what is going on with kickball? I am seriously confused.
Erin: Sorry, not trying to confuse you. I just want to form a more competitive team.
Ann: And I'm not competitive? I'm just wondering what prompted this, and why you think I'm just there to socialize?
Erin: I really don't mean it to be anything personal. when I say competitive, I mean I want to win. and I have some other friends who want to play that will give us a better chance to win.
Ann: How can I not take it personal? I didn't think I was a terrible player.
Erin: You were probably our most improved player by far, and you weren't bad. But there are always people who are better.
Ann: I've played with you guys for 3 years, i appreciate the explanation. Good luck.
Erin: Thanks, Ann. You too.

What the fuck? It's adults playing kickball!  It's a beer league, designed for maximum socializing with other young professionals! The best team gets the same prize as the worst team- beer tickets after every game, and a free t-shirt.

She couldn't mention this in person when we hung out on New Year's Eve? Or called me?

I've already set it in motion to join an opposing team and kick the shit out of my former teammates.

Update?

Marty and I are still going strong, so no more interesting dating travails to post on here. What should I talk about now?

First Arguement- RESOLVED!! :)

Marty and I are still going strong. We had our first arguement Thursday night, but once I stopped perpetuating it via text, and we were able to talk in person, it was resolved. The subject isn't important, but I'm sure we'll argue about it again. I am confident that we will work it out, and I feel free enough to argue with him and know our relationship is still solid. It's a good feeling.

You just know

I've always hated the platitudes people would tell me in a relationship. I felt they were trite and insincere, even when they had my best interests at heart.

"It'll happen for you when you least expect it."
"You're a wonderful person, and someday someone will realize that."
"I can't explain what love is, you just know."

You get the jist. Ok, I'll be the first to admit that I was wrong and they were right. It does happen when you least expect it, and you do just know.

I know it seems fast, considering we've only been dating for two months, but this is it for me and he feels the same way. It's like we were just waiting for each other to compliment. And he does make me a priority, and I do the same for him. I apologize if this post is mushy, and my statuses on Facebook have been less than hilarious lately, but I can only write what I feel.

I was happy before, there is no doubt about that. I loved my life and the people in it, but that happiness is nothing compared to how I feel now. Well, it's official now, I've posted it on the interwebs. :)

No association, really!

Why is it the first question people ask about Marty is "does he work for Kroger?" It's like they assume I don't get outside that circle and all of my acquaintances live and work for Kroger. I know other people too, I swear! There's all the guys from Ultimate, and the volunteers with Give Back Cincinnati. Plus, I know people from kickball too (although most are through Kroger). Surprisingly, Marty falls into none of these categories. I actually did not know him at all before we were introduced. And I know everyone in Cincinnati, or so I've been told. Even Marty has noticed I see someone I know everywhere we go. Oh well, what can I say? I'm popular! :D

Something else going on with my life

I'm finally finished moving. Spent 5 hours with Marty yesterday cleaning the old place, and turned in the keys. I may not be done unpacking, but everything I own is in my new apartment downtown, 4 blocks from work. And the best part is I'm now 15 minutes from Marty's place instead of 45. Also, there's always a parking space in front of my building, so if I come back late, I don't have to park in the garage 3 blocks away and walk through a sketchy area, I just have to walk across the street. If my car gets hurt, oh well, that's what insurance is for. I love my new place, and once I finally get my computer up and working, I may actually post pictures of it and of the many adventures I've had since February, which is the last time I did post any photos.

Now I just need to find my full memory card . . .

Boys are my favorite subject

I was looking over old posts, and I saw I never gave closure to a few items.  Obviously, I ended things with the musician.  We were never on the same page, and he is a lot of fun, but not the commitment type.  I'd like to think we're still friends, as I attended several of his shows this year, but I think the band broke up.  DH has a girlfriend now, and we're still friends and hang out once in a while. 

Between them and now, I dated Olu and Jason (at the same time :-/), because neither one had all the qualities I was looking for, but between them, I had a good time.  Olu was too involved in school to have enough time for me, and Jason ended up having a girlfriend that he didn't tell me about.  Nice.  I also had some single dates (Steve the cop is a memorable story for later), a lot of making out, and exchanges of numbers.  Basically, I had a hell of a good time!

In the meantime, I was ramping up my online dating, and had two guys that were very promising, Ed and Subbu.  Ed moved here from Columbus and didn't know anyone, and was painfully shy.  He liked my profile on Chemistry.com and we started emailing each other before he moved.  This continued for a month, and on the weekend that he moved, we agreed to meet for lunch and see what happened.  We ended up talking for hours, right into the dinner rush!  I dated Ed for a couple of months, and every date was full of conversation but he would never make a move on me, and it was frustrating.  I even did the typical flirty things, like brush lint off, adjust his collar, lean in close, and nothing.  We went out one last time before I left on vacation with my parents to Florida, and I thought everything was fine.  We texted a couple of times while I was gone, but I tried to connect with him again when I got back, and he wouldn't return any text or phone call.  The end.

Subbu was a different story.  He also liked my profile and we chatted for over a month.  The problem was he lives in Wooster, and I live here.  So we finally decided to meet up in Columbus.  It was an instant connection and we hung out for 10 hours!  We managed to talk every day and met up several times between that first meeting and recently.  He's a great guy and very good with massage, which he was always willing to give, but the distance was too much of an issue, and he was just starting his tenure track in Wooster.  We didn't even get to a point of discussing it because he would always pull back.  I ended it with him a little while ago.

And then I met Marty . . .

New year, just a little delayed.

I haven't posted in awhile since I couldn't do it from work, and I haven't turned on my computer in 3 months at home.  I have a lot to say about this year so far, so i'm going to try and post in chunks to make it a good read for a bit.

And now for something completely different . . .

Two short stories:

I heard my cat scrambling a while back through the apartment, and I thought, "what the hell?!?"  She was chasing a mouse, which I thought was impossible to get in a second story apartment.  I was certainly wrong on that count.  Well, my declawed cat finally caught it, and brought it to me in her mouth. It was still alive, and I didn't want to kill it by dumping it in the toilet that was close by.  I decided to set it free outside.  So, I'm carrying the car to the balcony while she carries the squeaking mouse in her mouth.  It's 7am, I'm on my balcony in my nightgown, and I'm shaking the cat, shouting "RELEASE!! RELEASE!!"  She finally does, right onto my bare foot!  The mouse scampers off right back into the apartment, and I scream bloody murder!  I was so grossed out, I went in and immediately washed my foot.  The mouse currently resides inside my dryer vent in the kitchen, and the cat stands vigil most days.  I don't want to think about what happens when it comes out again.

I was attempting to pump gas at Shell a few weeks ago, and the pump wouldn't work.  I'd already swiped my card, and the pump locked up, so the last thing I wanted to do was move my car ahead to another pump and try again.  So I proceeded to the store to have the pump unlocked.  I managed to trip over the curb, and as I was wearing Birkenstocks, I ripped a large chunk out of my big toe.  I went in the store, and the cashier was extremely busy.  She sees my foot and starts to freak out.  I told her, "just give me some paper towels, and unlock my pump, so I can go.  I'm 2 minutes from home."  She spends the next five minutes trying to deal with my pump while I get pissed off that she won't UNLOCK MY PUMP.  Finally, I take a wad of paper towels and stuff them in my shoe so she can't see it bleeding anymore, and guide her outside.  She unlocks my pump, 20 minutes after my first request.  Sheesh.  Oh, and my foot's fine now.

Wistful

Every once in a while I feel a pang because I see 21 come up on my news feed for Facebook.  I stopped subscribing to his status updates, I no longer text him, and I don't stalk him on there anymore.  But still, I see a glimpse on there, and I get a little wistful.  He's joined the National Guard, concentrating with the Marines, and I think the discipline is just what he needs.  I think being single, makes me think we could get back together sometime, but I know the reality is never.  I sent him a text on Christmas wishing him the very best and a Merry Christmas.  I didn't expect a response, and I didn't get one.

The way things ended with us kind of left things open to that.  I showed up at his house because we were supposed to go see Rocky Horror, and he acted surprised that I was there.  As of the previous night, we were still going, and we had even made dinner plans.  He told me his paycheck was delayed and he ran out of minutes again, and he just assumed I was going to go with someone else.

We argued about it, and I asked him if I had a title, and what we were doing.  He told me that he had a lot going on right now, and it just wasn't the right time for us.  It went on some more in this vein, and he had to go in and cook his mom her anniversary dinner.  He told me to call him the next day at a specific time.  I tried to do that, and got his voicemail repeatedly.  I finally got through via text, several hours later, and we talked for a bit.  He repeated that it just wasn't the right time for us.  That's the last I've heard from him.

I don't regret the relationship, or the ending.  He's not the one, and I see that.  But like I said, every once in a while, I see his name on my news feed, and I feel a pang of regret for pushing things.  I suppose if I were truly done, I'd defriend him, but I don't think I can yet.

**I meant to post this a month ago, but just now getting to it.  Don't worry, I'm fine.**

Update on all the boys boys boys

1.  The musician:  After not hearing from him for days, and having our plans on Monday fall through, I thought we were done.  I texted him today, "give it to me straight- should I stop trying with you?"  He responded no and that he has been really busy with the holidays.  He's been working 36 hour shifts, coming home and crashing for 12 hours, then working another 36 hours.  He actually crashed in the middle of our conversation today.  I told him I did want to spend time with him, but I can wait until he lets me know a time that's convenient for him.  We'll see if that progresses at all.

2.  Nola:  We went out for drinks last night after a cancellation on each of our parts.  I had a couple and decided to confront him whether we were hanging out as friends or dating.  He said he answers my question with a question mark.  He was being deliberately obtuse, and really enjoyed seeing my confusion.  He loves to tease me and really grins when I am most annoyed.  At least now, he knows my interest in him and I asked him point blank if he wanted to date me.  He said he already answered that question (with a QUESTION MARK!!).  I then asked him if he wanted to see me again, and he said yes.  He also offered to let me come over and sober up at his house, but I declined.  He walked me back to my car when I did sober up, and I said something to the effect that if he had bought me a few more shots he might have been able to take advantage.  He said he doubted it would take any at all, and when I agreed, he told me not to tempt him.  So, I'm still confused as to what we're doing, but we'll continue to see each other, and maybe I'll take him up on the offer of his house next time.

3.  BH:  Again, see previous post.

4.  Navy:  Asked him to come to the Kilt a couple of times, and haven't gotten him to go.  We've texted a bit, but I think he's avoiding me after messing around last time.  He's confused by his feelings and doesn't want me influencing his decision.

5.  M:  Disappeared offline for awhile, and I figured that was that.  He reappeared today on Facebook, so I expect him to contact me any time now.

6.  DR:  Out of town visiting family.  I'm going to put together another group thing after the first of the year, and he'll be invited.  Plus, he's promised to invite me to his housewarming party.

7.  J:  Wished him a Merry Christmas and will probably call him to see how he's been after the new year.  I'd like to think we're still friends, and I hate to lose touch.

8.  A:  We had a conversation the other day, and while I didn't confront him on his behavior, I think we're on the same page now, and will just be friends.  He acknowledged the attraction between us, but said he wasn't going to act on it.  I'm fine with that, I just wanted the awkwardness to go away and I hope that he'll stop with the jealous behavior.  I'm still open to something in the future, but I'll let him decide that, and he has his own issues to work through first.

I did discover, after much thought today, that I have placed myself in a similar situation to A.  I'm surrounded by boys just like he's surrounded by women.  So, with that thought, today begins my weed out.  BH, J, and A are all done- we'll be friends, but no expectations of more.  I'll see how it goes with the musician, but I only have so much patience.  Nola I will continue to push to see how he really feels, and he may or may not come off this list.  Navy may continue to avoid me or it may turn around.  M is a distinct possibility as he REALLY likes me, but as I haven't met him in person, he could be insane or trying for a green card.  Being very cautious there.  And finally, I really wish DR would date me.  He's so cute and sweet, and basically awesome in every way.  I know we would have some good times, and I could see it developing long term.

So I guess this list is actually at two, and not eight.  Who knows what the future holds?

What does this mean now? (Answer below)

Me: Happy Tuesday! How was your christmas?
BH: Family friends food, folly and a few gifts
Me: Folly? Nice alliteration though
BH: It was an f word
Me: Lol. I got that. I thought you got into some mischief this weekend
BH:Well......... yeah
But I need a few days and weeks to sort it out before I can tell ya
Me:Well that's quite mysterious of you. Way to tease me cause you know I want to know
BH: I wanna know too, but I need to figure some things out first
Me: Lol. Ok that's fair. You tell me when you're ready and I'll keep bugging you in the meantime
BH: Sounds like a plan
Me: Do you have next Monday off?
BH: Noop
Me: Well bummer. I do and I'll be in michigan so I was thinking about stopping by
BH: I'm home at night, so we can see. You might be able to drive then! Probably none of that other stuff that we tried though.
Me: Lol that was kinda what I was hinting about with coming over. I understand if you're not interested any more
BH: Like I said, it just felt like it was being pushed or forced too hard. Just didn't feel right, and kinda awkward
Me: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't get that at all. I guess I was the pushy one. I didn't mean to come across that way
BH: Haha I was pushy! Well we both were
Me: I didn't think you were pushy at all. You were just doing what I wanted
BH: I meant, well I dunno... trying to force a square peg in a round hole? Nah that's a bad analogy also
Me: Lol. I guess we could have slowed down and just made out or something but I wanted more
BH: Well I did too, or I thought I did
Me: Hmmm. I think you're second guessing yourself now and you forget that the weekend was just about us having a good time. I certainly did. Didn't you?
BH: Yes I did.
Me: Ok well then awkward or pushy or whatever seemed to work. Don't worry so much about it or about me. Besides, I'm game to try again, you just let me know. You work out what you need to work out. I'm always here to talk or whatever

Update:
Well, I guess I have my answer now.  We talked some more yesterday, which follows.

Me:I've been doing a lot of thinking today too and in the interest of full disclosure I should tell you that I like you a lot and I'm interested in pursuing whatever with you even if you are only interested in FWB or just being friends. I think we've got a comfortable thing going on and I don't want to push you.
BH:  Friends for sure, groping friends if the urge arises? Full on FWB I think I wanna avoid. Definitely have to be demoted if something else develops. Aka "folly"
Me:  Ok I understand. I guess you did have quite the interesting weekend. I'm glad we have all this out in the open minus your "folly"
BH:  :-D yeah that ones gonna take a while to sort out. Nuttin bad, just complicated
Me:  Does it have anything to do with the woman from your christmas party a few weeks ago?
BH:  Uh, yup
Me:  Well that is interesting.  I understand why it might take several weeks, etc, now to sort out. I told you if she was interested she would contact you.  Just out of curiosity- if I still lived in michigan, would you have attempted to pursue anything with me?
BH:  Its a distinct possibility. The no kids thing was a hit
Me:  I've had several years to think about that and it's not something I'm changing my mind on.  I wish you the best of luck.

Basically, he met this woman at his company Christmas party a few weeks ago and gave her his number on a dare.  She's in the middle of a divorce and he didn't want to be the rebound, but he was interested.  She contacted him this past weekend and they hung out, so he wants to see where things go with her.  He still wants to talk to me, but there won't be a repeat of a couple of weeks ago.  It's a shame I don't live in Michigan anymore, but I'm not moving back just for him.  I'm a little disappointed that our flirtation has ended, but it's probably better for me in the long run.  We'll see what happens, and I was sincere in wishing him the best of luck.

Happy holidays . . . I guess

I'm a little sad tonight because my plans with all my boys fell through. Every single one of them. I had the day off of work, and I told the musician that. He was intrigued and said he would let me know. I didn't feel well last night, so I waited to text him until I got up today. He told me he was spending the day with family and then going to bed because he has to work tomorrow. I totally understand this, but he didn't need to get my hopes up that we might spend the day together. I really miss him.

I finished up my Christmas shopping and headed to my friend's birthday party. I got a text from Nola asking me to have drinks with him. Of course I said yes, and went to the Pub where we agreed to meet later that night. He sends me a text about eleven that he had a flat tire and wasn't going to make it. Again, I understand, but still bummed.

I decided to head to the Kilt, and texted Navy to come up and hang out. He never responded, which is fine as he doesn't go out when he has to work the next morning and he probably does. I was really hoping he would respond so we could have some fun making out. :(

I did get to spend some time with A at the Kilt, though. We played several games of pool and hung out and talked for a bit. He seemed annoyed with me tonight and I can't figure out why. I didn't tell him about my fallen plans, and I wasn't flirting with anyone. I wish he would make up his mind, and I wish I wasn't such a chicken shit about confronting him.

Anyway, this all added up to me leaving the Kilt early and coming home grumpy. I need to get out of this funk. It's Christmas, for fuck's sake!

Boys, boys, boys buy me drinks in bars

I've been kind of vague and mentioned in passing some of the situations with guys I find myself in recently. I thought I'd take the time to lay it all out here, and realize that this may castigate me in some people's eyes. In no way is the list designed to make me look like a "playa" or be conceited in any way; it's just putting everything out there in black and white.

1. The musician: We've had some good times, but I feel like he's pulling away from me. We've only been dating a couple of weeks, but I did think he really liked me. I asked him point blank today if he still wanted to hang out with me, and he instantly responded with YES. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt as he's an EMT/Firefighter and the holidays are the busiest time for him. Plus, he did text me spontaneously this weekend.

2. Nola: I hate that it seems like I keep him on reserve for dating, but our schedules are so busy that we don't have time to date more than once every couple of weeks. We have great conversations that last for hours, but he is so slow and deliberate, he hasn't made a single move after dating since October. We hug all the time, and he put his arm around me, but that's it. I feel kind of bad that he texted me to have drinks last night, and I didn't make it over there because I was drinking at the Kilt. To be fair, I did invite him to come my way.

3. BH: Good times had by all, see previous post.

4. Navy: He's so very lonely, and has told me he wants a long term relationship with me, that he can see leading to marriage. We talk all the time about the connection we share, but he is unwilling to act on it. He told me as long as he is in the military, he won't subject a woman to that because of all the infidelity that occurs. I told him since he plans on being a career military man, he's in for a lot of lonely years, and he's not giving me enough credit. We've hung out several times at the Kilt, and it used to be absolutely not, to now he's torn about it. I'm wearing him down, and we did have a bit of fun Thursday night.

5. M: Guy I've been chatting with online from Chemistry.com for a couple of weeks. He seems very sweet but shy, and I'm considering meeting him for the first time after the holidays. In a public place, of course.

6. DR: I've mentioned him before and he is so cute and nice and does like me, but he is so new to town, he doesn't want to commit to a relationship before gaining a circle of friends. Well, as long as I'm part of that circle, and he is aware of my interest, it's all good.

7. J: He always seems to be there in the background. See lots of previous posts from last year for that breakdown. Just when I think I'll never hear from him again (mostly because I've pissed him off), I receive a random text or call, like the one from last Friday asking how my Thanksgiving was and if I could help him with the number for the person in charge of benefits.

8. And finally, we have A: to add to the drama of the past few weeks, he got mad at me on Thursday. I was at the Kilt with Navy and we were sitting so close at a table when A came in. He saw us there and went straight to the bar and ordered a drink. He then proceeded to glare daggers at us for the next half hour until he decided to storm out. I felt bad for Brian as he was talking to us and had to go because A was his ride. Well, A and I are having dinner tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

FWB

I took a trip to Michigan this past weekend to see a couple of friends and go to my extended family Christmas. As a side benefit (?), I made plans to meet up with BH. Now, we've been chatting pretty much on a daily basis ever since July, and I've known him since high school. We decided to get together, no expectations, and just see where things led us. We discovered that we still have a strong connection, and things got pretty hot and heavy really quickly.

Without going into too much detail, let's just say, he has some performance issues and was a little too excited to see me. I'm not saying that was a bad thing, as I was still unsure how I felt about losing it to him. One thing was, in the middle of everything, I was thinking of another guy, so that kind of told me that I would be able to leave without having an emotional attachment to BH, which was reassuring.

I did have a nice time, and we talked for hours. It was just such a comfortable situation all around, no awkwardness, and it was wonderful snuggling with him. We fit together so well. It's a shame we're both so set where we're at, because we talked about if the distance was less, we would try dating for real. He's the only one that I communicate with on a regular basis and has never disappointed me.

He refuses to come see me in Cincinnati, and won't let me make trips to see him unless I'm in Michigan for another reason. I guess we're right back to where we were before- just keep chatting, and if the opportunity presents itself, we'll hook up again. Who knows? No expectations here.

Did the Cyclones win last night?

I went to the game last night and there was a cute guy sitting slightly back and to the right of me. It was dollar beer night so I got up several times to purchase beer, one at a time. The guy I noticed started winking and making faces at me as I passed, so after a couple of times I winked back. After going to the bathroom, I stopped at his seat and introduced myself. We chatted for a bit and he asked for my number, which I gave him. We texted for a bit and he asked me to come hang out at a bar with him and his friend. I tried to get my friends to go, but Stan had to work in the morning and refused. didn't drive there, so I didn't have a choice. The guy actually got mad, and told me to grow up and make my own decisions. I told him I do, but I'm not about to go off by myself with a stranger. That's just personal safety. I then told him AJ would kill one of us if I did and he called my brother "a lil bitch." At this point I was done flirting as he clearly was a jerk. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.

On a different note, I'm frustrated with the guy I'm dating. He told me he doesn't make plans for hanging out (we don't call it dating as that freaks him out), and told me we'll see about going out tonight. So, all of the plans for dates that we've made and actually done were nothing? I gsave him a time ultimatum for tonight, and that'll be it from me. If he wants to do something with me, he can contact me. Time to move on to one of the other 8 guys.

You'd think I'd learn

As promised, the update about my trip to Keeneland this year:

I don't know what it is, but I seem to court drama every time I go to that place. I love going, but this is beginning to get ridiculous. Last year I had all the issues with D and J, that resulted in a huge mess, the end of one friendship, and a stage one clinger with J.

This year, Nola had mentioned that he might come down and hang out in Keeneland. I didn't expect it, but imagine my surprise when he actually showed! The problem came with one of my friends from work that came along. I seriously thought he was gay, and had made an offhand comment that morning, and he corrected my misconception immediately. I didn't think anything of it, and said no more. Nola shows up in time for lunch, and I can't shake my coworker. I realize he didn't know hardly anyone else there, but part of the fun of Give Back events is the networking and meeting new people. So I had a lovely lunch with both guys. *eye roll* He got so obnoxious about sticking by my side for the afternoon that Nola finally gave up trying to talk to me and hang out, and went to hang with some other people he knew. He ended up leaving early and I felt terrible because we couldn't spend any time together.

I guess I can't totally hate on the experience, as Nola and I still date occasionally (damn our busy schedules). It also brought me closer to Josh, my brother from another mother. I freakin' love that kid!

Awwwwwkward

Saturday night, I went to Mt. Adams with Brian and his girlfriend, and A as well. We were hanging out at AliveOne (which I liked very much, as it wasn't your typical Mt. Adams place), and I was having a deep conversation with A on a couch in the back. I got up to get another drink, and on the way back, a couple of guys stopped me to chat. We were joking around and flirting, you know, doing the regular bar talk, and they asked who I was here with. I pointed behind them at my friends (who had been joined by a couple of other people they knew at this point), and they all waved at me. Except A. He was glaring daggers at the gentlemen, so much so, that they asked if he was my boyfriend. I reassured them that I was single, but by then the fun mood was killed and I bid them goodbye. I'm sure if I had had 5 more minutes, and no jealous "friend" sitting there, I would have had one or both of their numbers.

I don't know what gives. He insists we're just friends but keeps perpetuating behavior like this. On the ride home, he had his arm around me the entire time. I'm almost to the point of confronting him, especially if this thing I have going with the other guy goes somewhere. In fact, A was the one dissenter to the relationship- kept telling me all the bad he knew about him and tried to warn me off. "He did drugs." So did you. "He's a horndog and wants sex." So are you, and most people do. "He hangs out at the Kilt all the time." So do you, so do I, and about 20 other people.

It's getting to the point that I won't be able to hang out with him anymore. He is not my boyfriend, he won't man up, and he does not get the right to act like a jealous boyfriend. Dammit. There goes the Three Musketeers. I feel bad for Brian because he's both of our friends and he would be forced to choose. Honestly, I don't think bros before hoes will apply here, as Brian's annoyed with A for his own set of reasons. I will keep you posted.

The Off Kilt'r Pub

For any of you that follow my feed on Facebook, you may have noticed a trend- I'm always going to the Kilt! I really love that place; it's like my Cheers. I first went with A to hang out with him as he never comes over my way (until this past Wednesday night), and I've gradually met a great group of people there. I love Mike and Landon, the owners, they always greet me by name and hug me when I leave. I've also met several guys there that I've felt instantly comfortable with- including the guy I'm currently dating. It helps my level of trust that he is a confirmed "doctor" of the Kilt'r Krew and I know the guys have my back. Plus, if he treats me badly, he has to answer to all of them. We'll see how this goes. He says he doesn't want a relationship and is a bad boyfriend, but so far he's treated me really well. I told him I'm not labeling him, and we're hanging out without expectations. I can tell he's been hurt before.

Anyway, got off the post topic a bit. I love having a place to go where you walk in and they shout your name. I love the resident old fart that hugs me when I come in and is the only one I allow to call me "Annie." I love the crazy marine that always has the best stories and you know he'd be the one sitting beside you in jail saying, "what a ride!" I love that DJ Rob is there every week, and plays my favorite songs.  I love knowing that any one of them in there have my back and would jump to my defense. In fact, they may love me just a little bit more than they love A. If things don't work out with this new guy, I have a feeling I will still be embraced, but he may be uncomfortable for awhile.

I think I may head over there tonight.

November Challenge

In case you didn't know, I challenged myself for the month of November to do no drinking at all. I drank waaaay too much in October and it was my chance to see if I could exhibit self control, save money, and lose weight. I must say, for at least two of the objectives I was successful. I did save a lot of money and was very controlled. As far as weight loss, eh, I didn't gain. Plus, November was an emotional roller coaster for me, so if there was ever a reason to drink, that was it. But really, it strengthened my resolve not to, as it would portent a problem.

So December 1st rolls around, and we head to the Kilt. Lot of alcohol consumed, and for the first time ever, I have periods of no memory. This was not a good idea, and I will not be repeating it. Pretty sure this means I've officially left my youth behind, as I will be drinking in light moderation from now on. I'm not going to miss it- I thoroughly embarrassed myself at the bar with puking into a bucket at the ACTUAL bar. Needless to say, I was hustled out very quickly after.

The only saving grace from the night going down in infamy at the Kilt is the fact that another regular jumped off his roof drunk and broke his leg in four places the same night. Yeah, so glad that's not me.